1. It’s finally so damn delightful outside! Too bad all those blooming flowers and trees are actually trying to kill you.
2. Sneezing, itching, sore throat, general ass-dragging. You swear it’s just a cold. It’ll be gone soon, right? RIGHT?
3. Getting out the door requires an arsenal of tools, otherwise known as Aisle 6 of CVS.
4. You’ve strongly considered calling out sick due to pollen taking over your car.
5. “Let’s open the windows!” they say. “Let’s abso-fucking-lutely not,” you say.
6. Picnics in the park sound fun...until you get there.
7. At least once a day, someone will suggest you try the latest OTC allergy medicine that “totally works!”
8. You know you could try the heavy duty stuff...if you want to sleep for 12 straight hours.
9. By one week in, you’ll mourn the loss of nasal breathing and wonder why you didn't cherish it before.
10. Drinking-outside weather sadly coincides with taking-all-of-the-antihistamines weather.
11. You'll try to suck it up and appreciate spring like the rest of them.
12. Between your inability to breathe and all of the allergy meds, you constantly look like you're tired/crying/stoned/confused.
13. Yes, you’ve tried the Neti Pot, and yes, you still have nightmares about it.
14. Sneezing/blowing your nose in public has just become a part of your life.
15. Everyone assumes you're constantly sick, and you've snapped “It’s allergies!” to multiple people.
16. Whenever you attempt to wear makeup, you immediately regret the decision.
17. Actually, whenever you attempt to GO OUTSIDE, you immediately regret the decision
18. You always have tissues on you. Always.
19. Finally, you get a handle on your symptoms...and then it morphs into a cold or sinus infection.
