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39 Low Key Ways To Trick Everyone Into Thinking You’re An Adult

Admit it, your bathroom is probably not sleepover friendly.

So maybe your apartment is an uninviting hole.

It’s okay. You’re probably semi broke. It’s chill, samesies, but there are some small things that can improve your place. You don’t have to do them all, but even a few of these tips will make your home better. So people who come over will want to come back.

1. Put some rocks in a tray thingy for your wet boots.

Literally just some rocks and any sort of tray type thing will help you keep your shit cleaner.

2. Have simple, sturdy floor lamp.

 

Lighting is key, but it doesn’t have to be fancy or hyper-modern.

3. And get some stylish, power-saving LED bulbs.

Around $12 each but may save you money on power in the long run.

4. Showcase your friends’ art.

Art is tight. But art is expensive. But you probably have friends who take pictures, paint, draw or do some other cool, creative thing. They would probably be happy to sell, trade or straight up give you some art for your home. Everyone wins.

5. Framing is expensive, so find some creative ways to hang shit.

Angelo Spagnolo / BuzzFeed

 

Hanging art can be as simple as a tack and a binder clip.

6. Or literally just lean shit against the wall.

7. Plants are hard to keep alive. But it’s worth it and you will grow from the struggle (like a plant.)

Start small, with cacti, succulents and other hard-to-kill plants.

8. Try a snake plant for better air quality.

They’re fairly easy to keep alive, and NASA confirms they can help indoor air quality.

9. Then graduate to bigger plants.

Angelo Spagnolo / BuzzFeed

Stores like IKEA and Home Depot have large plants for under $30. If you don’t live near one of those stores, great, you probably live near a rad nursery which will have better, healthier plants and a more knowledgeable staff to inform you about caring for your new friends.

10. If you have weed parephenelia in the crib, keep it tidy.

If you have bongs, ash trays, grinders, rolling papers, pipes, or whatever, that’s chill. Weed is tight. But they shouldn’t be ever-present on your coffee table.

11. And if you love weed you might as well get a classy ash/rolling tray.

12. Get a candle that doesn’t smell like a baby prostitute.

I know it’s hard to spend actual money on something that you literally burn, but scents make such a huge difference in your home. You can get a great candle for $25 from Kaufmann Mercantile, get an extra-nice handmade all natural candle for around $60 from Maak Lab or you can say yolo and buy the $166 Visvim candle.

13. If candles aren’t your thing try a chill incense.

Cheap incense is usually too overpowering, but these muffukkus are only $6 and good.

14. Or a room spray that smells exactly like the outdoors.

For that long winter.

15. Have books. They make you look like you have interests.

Plus literally everyone knows that John Waters quote about not sleeping with people who don’t have books.

16. Have a way to play music that isn’t your laptop speakers.

Shouts to Odesza.

17. Get a trash can with an actual lid.

A stinky kitchen is not a fun place to hang.

18. Have a way to make coffee that doesn’t taste like poo.

A simple French press or pour-over setup will accommodate the best (and worst) of mornings after.

19. Get some dishes that weren’t stolen from the dining hall.

And maybe they should match. IKEA isn’t the answer to everything… but an 18-piece dinnerware set is $24.99.

20. And you should have a few legit glasses for drinking adult drinks.

Pro tip: you can totally steal whiskey glasses from your favorite restaurant or bar, depending on your personal moral compass.

21. And have some non-trash liquor on hand.

22. Plus you can use the empty bottle as a classy water bottle.

Jennifer Causey / cargocollective.com

23. Or get some of these restaurant style water bottles.

Hydration is key, and it looks cooler to bring a bottle and pour it in a glass for a guest than to hand them some plastic kids cup.

24. Get a fucking spatula.

Orion Pictures

I know, it sounds simple, but so many dudes don’t have a fucking spatula. I know some of you don’t have a spatula rn and you should be ashamed. Bamboo spatulas are best.

25. And have a cookie sheet so you can make delicious cookies.

Cookies are great.

26. Put a (less expensive) candle in here too. Everybody poops.

People are stressed when they’re pooping at someone else’s house. Make it as comfortable as possible for them.

27. Have some matches in the bathroom, for the poop candle.

You could buy some fancy ones, or get some from your favorite bar.

28. Have a clean fucking towel for people to dry their hands on.

You don’t need fancy towels, just ones that are, like, not visibly brown. All this requires is having more than one towel so you can rotate and then doing laundry regularly. You can get towels at the dollar store. I know that because I did it like a week ago.

29. And buy a goddamn toothbrush holder.

Just laying it on the sink is gross. Don’t you remember that Myth Busters episode where they proved that poop particles get on everything within six feet of a toilet flush?

30. Have conditioner, for longhaired guests.

 

Yes, it’s mostly a pointless product, but if long haired people are gonna use your shower, accommodate them. The conditioner on the left is $40 and will probably impress people more but the conditioner on the right is $1.44 and probably works just as good.

31. Your shower needs a curtain AND a liner.

It sounds basic. But nobody wants to shower next to your moldy-ass curtain.

32. A simple, sturdy work lamp will help you look like you do actual work.

You can find one for about $15 on Amazon , $40 from Ikea, or go for something a little nicer from a place like West Elm.

33. Bonus points if you have a nice pen and notebook on your desk. (If you actually have a desk to begin with.)

 

Doesn’t matter if the notebook is full of dick doodles.

34. Make your bed (even though it hurts me to say that.)

Making your bed in generally pointless, I know, you’re just going to get back in it! BUT, if there is that slim chance that someone may come home with you and into your room, it’s best to have your shit tidy.

35. Build yourself a clothing rack.

Ryan Plett / Via coolmaterial.com

It’s a fairly easy way to free up space and class up your room.

36. Cedar hangers make your clothes smell like an awesome forest.

Also try cedar blocks for the pockets of clothes to keep them fresh. What’s tight is when the scent starts to fade you just hit the wood lightly with sandpaper and they smell fresh and new again.

37. The bedroom is the place to splurge on a good candle.

This is the third time I’ve said it: candles are key.

38. Have clean sheets, duh, and a pillow that doesn’t look like someone died on it.

39. And FINALLY, get a cat. For spiritual balance.

 

Unless you’re allergic. Sorry.

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