Hello. This is your friend Srishti and I'm pleased to announce that I found yet another German national who volunteered to watch a Bollywood movie.
You ask why? Because fun should be had and I might make this a weekly thing and seek out peeps from other nationalities, but more on that later. For now, meet Anna, who decided to watch the Nikhil Advani classic Kal Ho Naa Ho.
Watching KHNH as her first ever Bollywood movie was a life-changing experience for Anna. This is a short description of the emotional wreckage the movie caused her, in her own words:
"The movie was great. And confusing. And full of tears, OMG. I'm still shook. ALL THE FEELS!!!
She complained about the length of the movie and said something about her baby becoming a teenager by the time she was done with it, but if I were you, I wouldn't worry because Anna signed up for this, she's an adult and she will cope.
So, let's get right to it.
1."Kal Ho Naa Ho sounds like Santa Claus ordering some Vietnamese takeaway. Why does it take place in NYC?"
2."Why the hell does grandmother have a hot water bottle on her tummy? She's clearly too old for PMS, isn't she?"
3."Oh hi, Indian Harry Potter."
4."Why is Naina fat-shaming her best friend, btw?"
5."I've heard a lot of clichés about Bollywood movies. One of them is that there's always some kid that has been adopted. Is that true?"
6."Dude, you don't need to shower in the snow, you have a proper bathroom in your house."
7."Alright folks, let's show how much we appreciate American culture. Ideas?" – "What about singing in front of a A GIANT FLAG?" – "Brilliant!"
8."We could have a rap part in our Indian version of 'Pretty Woman' too." – "YEAH!"
9."Naina reacting to this scene is me right now."
10."I love the fact that you can totally guess that this movie is made in the early 2000s."
11."Also, this actress is the "Queen of Resting Bitch-face". In every scene she's like: "I've got no time for your bullshit." It's perfect!"
12."What's going on here? Mansplaining? Bollywood style?"
13."Her face is all of us dealing with mansplaining dudes, seriously."
14."You should smile more!"
15."YOU'RE SO MUCH PRETTIER IF YOU SMILED." – "Dude, gtfo."
16."The moment when you see your ex-bae while on a date."
17."The moment when the shots arrive."
18."So relatable, tbh."
19."The moment when the shots kick in and you go full Saturday Night Fever."
20."You forgot to shave this little spot on your leg, Karen."