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There's Something Horrible Happening In Berlin, And Nobody Seems To Care

No German citizen is safe from this growing threat.

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Look at this picture of an apartment courtyard in Germany. Notice anything unusual?

Look a little closer. Is that what I think it is?

Oh god. It is. It's Comic Sans.

And once you notice it, you'll start seeing it all over Berlin and the rest of Germany.

Comic Sans afflicts millions of German citizens. From the lowliest of record shops...

...to the most prestigious research hospitals.

Not even savvy politicians are safe from the influence of Comic Sans.

Even the Almighty has fallen prey to this horrible, horrible font.

Once Comic Sans takes hold, no German city is safe.

And don't think the night can save you. Comic Sans has adapted. Comic Sans can penetrate the darkness.

But stay strong. Even as you read this, a group of freedom fighters have mobilized against this threat.

And with your help, we can work towards a brighter tomorrow – a tomorrow free of Comic Sans.