1. Chris Christie as Cookie Monster.
2. Rand Paul as Curly Bear.
3. Marco Rubio as Ernie.
4. Ted Cruz as Bert.
5. Paul Ryan as Guy Smiley.
6. Rick Perry as Marshal Grover.
7. John Bolton as Jeff Bawksworthy.
8. Jeb Bush as Zucchini.
9. And Scott Walker as Park Ranger Squirrel.
10. Hillary Clinton as Baa Baa Walters.
Hillary has plenty of Street cred.
11. Joe Biden as Dr. Sigmund Sillystuff.
12. Martin O’Malley as Sonny Friendly.
13. Kirsten Gillibrand as Pairie Dawn.
14. Andrew Cuomo as Joe Hundredguy.
15. Cory Booker as Baby Bear.
16. Donald Trump as, well… you know.
17. Or you could just vote Elmo.
In The News Today
- The Dutch Safety Board has released a final report of its investigation into why Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17 broke up over Ukraine in 2014. ›
- Condé Nast has acquired Pitchfork, the independent music website and magazine, for an undisclosed amount. ›
- Iran's parliament approved a deal on its nuclear program, which was agreed to in July following lengthy talks between six world powers. ›