Techlol29 Glorious Takedowns Of #SafetyTipsForLadiesTwitter users are taking on the depressing topic of women's safety tips and flipping it into absurdist realtalk with the hashtag #SafetyTipsForLadies.By by Heben NigatuBuzzFeed StaffPosted on March 25, 2013, 8:09 pmTwitterFacebookLink 1. Kim @CaptKimothy Most rapists are people, so consider only befriending animals and ghosts #safetytipsforladies 02:00 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Most rapists are people, so consider only befriending animals and ghosts #safetytipsforladies-- Kim 2. N. K. Jemisin @nkjemisin If you are attacked, go Super Saiyajin. Your pubic hair will go blonde & spiky and shred his boyparts. #safetytipsforladies 05:42 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite If you are attacked, go Super Saiyajin. Your pubic hair will go blonde & spiky and shred his boyparts. #safetytipsforladies-- N. K. Jemisin 3. Louisa @LouisatheLast Learn to clone dinosaurs so you can ride a T-rex everywhere you go. #safetytipsforladies 03:36 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Learn to clone dinosaurs so you can ride a T-rex everywhere you go. #safetytipsforladies-- Louisa 4. RamenKing @RamenKing When going anywhere alone, set yourself on fire. Remember: They can't rape you if you're on fire. #safetytipsforladies 01:28 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite When going anywhere alone, set yourself on fire. Remember: They can't rape you if you're on fire. #safetytipsforladies-- RamenKing 5. Godless Grrl @godlessgrrl Store Legos in your vagina w/a quick release mechanism so you can drop them like caltrops as you run away. #safetytipsforladies 05:36 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Store Legos in your vagina w/a quick release mechanism so you can drop them like caltrops as you run away. #safetytipsforladies-- Godless Grrl 6. Emily Shannon @binxxxxxxx #safetytipsforladies coat yrself in mayonnaise and sit in the sun. rapists are instantly confused + repelled also it is v good for your hair 02:05 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite #safetytipsforladies coat yrself in mayonnaise and sit in the sun. rapists are instantly confused + repelled also it is v good for your hair-- Emily Shannon 7. Mikki Kendall @Karnythia Only go outside when absolutely necessary. Who needs education, work, food or friends? #safetytipsforladies 03:07 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Only go outside when absolutely necessary. Who needs education, work, food or friends? #safetytipsforladies-- Mikki Kendall 8. HirnundSieb @Hirn_Sieb Most rapists can't fly, so use your firebolt to commute to work/ school every day. #safetytipsforladies #nerdyhumor 02:38 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Most rapists can't fly, so use your firebolt to commute to work/ school every day. #safetytipsforladies #nerdyhumor-- HirnundSieb 9. The Comeback Kid. @thewayoftheid Remove your vagina. Carry it in your purse. #safetytipsforladies 03:05 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Remove your vagina. Carry it in your purse. #safetytipsforladies-- The Comeback Kid. 10. Brokey McPoverty @brokeymcpoverty spend 10 years living in isolation on a snowy mountain w a reclusive kung fu master, perfecting the art. use as needed. #safetytipsforladies 04:12 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite spend 10 years living in isolation on a snowy mountain w a reclusive kung fu master, perfecting the art. use as needed. #safetytipsforladies-- Brokey McPoverty 11. Kelsey Gamble @kelseygambles Instead of running, begin singing Sonny and Cher songs. The rapist will have no choice but to engage in a duet instead #safetytipsforladies 02:04 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Instead of running, begin singing Sonny and Cher songs. The rapist will have no choice but to engage in a duet instead #safetytipsforladies-- Kelsey Gamble 12. My Little Uruk-Hai @deluxvivens if necessary, transform your vagina into nick fury. the eyepatch will confuse the hell out of rapists. run for it! #safetytipsforladies 06:00 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite if necessary, transform your vagina into nick fury. the eyepatch will confuse the hell out of rapists. run for it! #safetytipsforladies-- My Little Uruk-Hai 13. Louisa @LouisatheLast Turn just right during a solar eclipse and slip sideways into a parallel dimension where people value consent. #safetytipsforladies 03:54 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Turn just right during a solar eclipse and slip sideways into a parallel dimension where people value consent. #safetytipsforladies-- Louisa 14. Mail Ssinnigcm @gumbuoy Consider wearing a bodysuit of live chameleons at all times, in order to blend in to your surroundings #safetytipsforladies 02:16 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Consider wearing a bodysuit of live chameleons at all times, in order to blend in to your surroundings #safetytipsforladies-- Mail Ssinnigcm 15. Kim @CaptKimothy Consider splicing your genes with those of a pufferfish so that you expand with spikiness whenever a rapist comes near #safetytipsforladies 02:02 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Consider splicing your genes with those of a pufferfish so that you expand with spikiness whenever a rapist comes near #safetytipsforladies-- Kim 16. Lady Parts @allthepie Have yourself laminated. Sure it's suffocating, but really, you must do your bit to prevent being assaulted #safetytipsforladies 01:57 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Have yourself laminated. Sure it's suffocating, but really, you must do your bit to prevent being assaulted #safetytipsforladies-- Lady Parts 17. My Little Uruk-Hai @deluxvivens if necessary, transform your vagina into a black hole with red matter. #safetytipsforladies #meta 05:21 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite if necessary, transform your vagina into a black hole with red matter. #safetytipsforladies #meta-- My Little Uruk-Hai 18. Hilary Bowman-Smart @hilaryjfb Do you have soft, fleshy limbs? Statistically, robots are less likely to be assaulted. Consider becoming a Terminator. #safetytipsforladies 01:48 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Do you have soft, fleshy limbs? Statistically, robots are less likely to be assaulted. Consider becoming a Terminator. #safetytipsforladies-- Hilary Bowman-Smart 19. Lady Parts @allthepie Unconsciousness is alluring to rapists. Have you considered being perpetually awake? Approach Red Bull for sponsorship #safetytipsforladies 01:36 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Unconsciousness is alluring to rapists. Have you considered being perpetually awake? Approach Red Bull for sponsorship #safetytipsforladies-- Lady Parts 20. Hilary Bowman-Smart @hilaryjfb If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way #safetytipsforladies 12:30 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite If you hide your forearms in your sleeves, the rapist will mistake you for a T-Rex and carry on his way #safetytipsforladies-- Hilary Bowman-Smart 21. Kelsey Gamble @kelseygambles Cover yourself in grease at all times, in case you need to make a quick getaway and by sliding to safety #safetytipsforladies 01:59 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Cover yourself in grease at all times, in case you need to make a quick getaway and by sliding to safety #safetytipsforladies-- Kelsey Gamble 22. Leigh Harris @leighformayor Disguise yourself as a tumbleweed when travelling. You will confuse rapists into thinking no one's around. #safetytipsforladies 01:56 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Disguise yourself as a tumbleweed when travelling. You will confuse rapists into thinking no one's around. #safetytipsforladies-- Leigh Harris 23. Hilary Bowman-Smart @hilaryjfb Pour honey on yourself and roll in bird seed. Birds will then flock to form an impenetrable barrier to rapists #safetytipsforladies 01:50 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Pour honey on yourself and roll in bird seed. Birds will then flock to form an impenetrable barrier to rapists #safetytipsforladies-- Hilary Bowman-Smart 24. ASSHOLE WIZARD GIRL™ @verylemonade It's well known that rapists have evil background music accompaniment, so keep your ears open and listen! #safetytipsforladies 03:27 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite It's well known that rapists have evil background music accompaniment, so keep your ears open and listen! #safetytipsforladies-- ASSHOLE WIZARD GIRLâ„¢ 25. Shaylee @ShayleeActually #safetytipsforladies at parties wear a fashionable suit of armor that can only be removed using wire cutters 01:24 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite #safetytipsforladies at parties wear a fashionable suit of armor that can only be removed using wire cutters-- Shaylee 26. Brokey McPoverty @brokeymcpoverty just kill everybody before they have a chance to attack you. #safetytipsforladies 03:58 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite just kill everybody before they have a chance to attack you. #safetytipsforladies-- Brokey McPoverty 27. John Rice-Whetton @Punderful Rapists find it difficult to rape while made of stone. Try becoming Medusa, or if that is too difficult, a basilisk. #safetytipsforladies 01:50 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Rapists find it difficult to rape while made of stone. Try becoming Medusa, or if that is too difficult, a basilisk. #safetytipsforladies-- John Rice-Whetton 28. Kate Wood @gimmepanda The majority of rapists are known to the victim. Consider not knowing any men. #safetytipsforladies 02:10 AM - 20 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite The majority of rapists are known to the victim. Consider not knowing any men. #safetytipsforladies-- Kate Wood 29. Mikki Kendall @Karnythia Stop being a woman in public. #safetytipsforladies 03:02 PM - 25 Mar 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite Stop being a woman in public. #safetytipsforladies-- Mikki Kendall All credit goes to @hilaryjfb for starting the hashtag. Read more about the backstory here.