In a story that has given the world emotional whiplash, it turns out a plane hijacked after taking off from the Egyptian city of Alexandria and forced to land in Cyprus wasn’t terrorism — it was some deluded soul's attempt at a declaration of love.
No, but really. This guy allegedly donned a fake suicide vest, got on the plane, forced it to land in Cyprus, and then demanded to speak to his ex-wife.
(Editor's note: This is not a romantic comedy — this is a psychological thriller act and it ends poorly for everyone. Please don't do this sort of thing, gentlemen.)
am hearing #egypt air hijacker wrote plaintive 4-page missive to ex Cypriot wife which he hand delivered from plane!
This is the world we live in now, apparently.
So it seems hijacker-selfies are now a thing. #EgyptAirHijack
Once news of the hijacker's motive — who was reportedly searched in Alexandria before boarding the plane headed for Cairo — reached Egypt, Egyptians couldn't help but laugh.
انا لو من الركاب المخطوفين هخطف الطيارة اللي هترجعني مصر وارجع بيها قبرص تاني
Translation: "If I was one of the passengers, I would kidnap the plane taking me back to Cairo, and then go back to Cyprus again."
Mostly about how jealous they were that some people got a free trip to Cyprus.
أنا راكب الطيارة من اسكندرية وراح بيها القاهرة، أصحى ألقى نفسي في قبرص، أنت متخيل السعادة يا مان.
Translation: "I took a plane from Alexandria to Cairo, I wake up to discover I am in Cyprus …. Can you imagine how happy of a man I am :)"
Like, really jealous.
فرحة المصريين بعد ماعرفو ان الطيارة رايحة قبرص بدل الاسكندرية😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #تحيا_مصر
Translation: "Egyptians celebrating after they knew they are heading to Cyprus."
To the point that you have to wonder if Cyprus is literally paradise.
Photo shared on fbook in Egypt w/caption "Egyptian passengers upon hearing they're disembarking in Cyprus not Cairo"
And, of course, ~brands~ got in on the action.
Translation: "Book a trip with us April 7 to Hurghada, and you might be kidnapped to Cyprus. And if you are lucky, you might be kidnapped to France or Italy — only 180 pounds for the trip."
It only makes sense though that in a country where the government goes to ridiculous lengths to appear effective, that people are more than willing to laugh when given the chance.
الشرطة القبرصية قبضت على اللى كان خاطف الطيارة ..طب مصر تسكت ولا تقعد تتفرج ؟؟ لا ودي تيجي !! طبعا قامت الداخلية قبضت على اخته احنا كدة
Translation: "The police in Cyprus arrested the kidnapper, so the Egyptian police, instead of being silent, decided to arrest his sister!"
Granted some of the jokes were...dark.
طليقة خاطف الطائرة المصرية : ما انتا لو مهتم عنجد كنت فجّرت الطيارة .. بس حتفجّرها ليش ما انا اصلاً مش في بالك #اختطاف_طايره_مصريه
Translation: "The kidnapper's ex-wife: If you really loved me, you would explode the plane!! But you don’t love me."
And some were kind of sexist...
العالم كله يترقب الان صورة المزة اللي خطف الطيارة عشانها
Translation: "Now the whole world is waiting to see that sexy, hot woman, because of whom he kidnapped the plane."
And some [shudder] paraphrased Coldplay. COLDPLAY.
طبعا اول ما تطلعله الطيارة هيبدأ يغنيلها Yellow 😅 I jumped across , i hijacked a plane for you Oh what a think to do 💃💃
Translation: "He kidnapped the plane and sang: Yellow 😅"
But for the most part, the jokes were 👏🏾 👏🏾 👏🏾🏾 🏾🏾
اللي خطف الطيارة كان عاوز يوصل رسالة لطليقته ف قبرص، لو النت كويس كان بعتها واتس أو ماسنجر أدى أخرة الخدمة الزفت يا أوساخ
Translation: "The one who kidnapped the plane was trying to deliver message to his wife. Damn, if the internet service was good here, he would send it by messenger or WhatsApp. This is the result of bad service here."
As befitting a story this odd, the memes didn't stay contained in Egypt.
Egypt can be proud that it's the primary source of viral memes today. #EgyptAirHijack
Like in this remix of a Donald Trump tweet.
#breaking
Or this classy art history joke.
Dude, next time cut one of your ears off and send it to her like a normal person. #VanGogh #EgyptAirHijack
And a lot of people really awkwardly blaming the whole thing on the woman the guy was trying to woo — not the guy who literally took over a plane.
Always There Is A Woman Involved https://t.co/ewhYD7ZQdl #EgyptAirHijack #CyprusHijack
Smh.
This is what happens when you block your ex.
You keep doing you, internet.
The only thing that can stop a straight guy in a bad marriage is a gay guy in a good marriage. @NRA #EgyptAirHijack