1. Kale Baked Eggs
Cute enough that I will overlook how much easier a kale omelette would be. Get the recipe here.
2. “Cheezey” Kale Chips
Tell yourself what you need to, but let’s not pretend these are Cheez-Its, k? Get the recipe here.
3. Pickled Kale
Just because you CAN pickle that, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Get the recipe here.
4. Raw Kale Noodles
I’m gonna take the fact that these are no longer available for purchase as a good sign.
5. Apple Kale Muffins
If you insist on adding kale to your muffins, be sure to also add apples, honey, and anything else that will hide the taste of the VEGETABLE IN YOUR MUFFIN. Get the recipe here.
6. Candy Kale Chips
OMG this is so funny because I was literally just like, you know what would make great candy? KALE. Get the recipe here.
7. Kale Cocktail
I don’t even care about the pure absurdity of this: It has my full support. Make yourself one tonight.
8. Frozen Kale Cubes
HAHAHAHA KALE ICE CUBESSSSSS??!?! THAT IS RIDICULOUS. Oh what? They’re for smoothies? Oh OK. NM.Get the recipe here.
9. Kale Pizza Dough
I’m sorry I’m confused. If you want kale in your pizza, why not just make it a topping? (Or put it in the dough, your call: Here’s the recipe.)
10. Kale Brownies
Sorry to go there but seeing the green specks in the brownies make me uncomfortable. (But if it works for you, go for it!)
11. Kale and Spinach Sauce
I like kale and I like sauce but that doesn’t mean I want kale sauce. (If you do, then by all means, go right ahead and make the stuff.)
12. Cheezy Kale Crackers
Trying not to judge. Trying not to judge. Trying not to judge. Get the recipe here.
14. Cowboy Kale Jerky
Totally easy to make, if you have a dehydrator and 5–8 hours to spare. Recipe (instructions?) here.
15. Goat Cheese and Kale Egg Bake
16. Chocolate Kale Fudge Pops
I’m pretty sure the cup of sugar cancels out the cup of kale, health-wise. (But you can still make them I guess.)
18. Vegan Kale Spice Cake
Tell them it’s real cake and then laugh laugh laugh when they eat it. (Belated April Fools’ Day recipe available here.)
19. Avocado Kale Ice Cream
This isn’t fair to kale or ice cream or avocados or chocolate chips or you. (Make it if you must.)
21. Kale Soda
FOR THE LOVE OF KALE, THIS NEEDS TO STOP.