1. Reports surfaced on Monday that George Zimmerman saved a family from an overturned vehicle after his polarizing trial verdict, leading Twitter users to imagine his other heroic exploits.
Left my keys on the bus this morning. Zimmerman air dropped my spare like a sponsored gift from The Hunger Games. #ThanksGeorge
Zimmerman just tunneled thru the floor & slapped a bowl of cereal out of my hand because the milk was spoiled. #ThanksGeorge
Marx - Beyond Modern
Zimmerman crashed through my ceiling once I took the last sheet of TP off the roll to hand me another from under the sink #ThanksGeorge
After careful review of bedroom surveillance footage he’d recorded of me, GZ noticed my sleep deprivation&aided me w/ketamine #ThanksGeorge
Zimmerman said i looked suspicious in my outfit so he took me shopping #thanksgeorge
Lawrence of Suburbia
George Zimmerman is reportedly at the border handing out bottles of water to weary Latino travelers. #ThanksGeorge
The doctor who delivering the #RoyalBaby passed out. Thankfully, Zimmerman swooped in and delivered the crown prince: #ThanksGeorge
I saw Zimmerman backflip through a window and hand this girl an iphone charger after she complained her phone was on 2%. #ThanksGeorge
Zimmerman solved every single one of Jay Z’s 99 Problems. #ThanksGeorge
O is for Obfuscation
Zimmerman went through my calendar and left little notes reminding me of all my family member’s birthdays. So thoughtful. #ThanksGeorge
John Wilson III
GZ bicycle-kicked through my window & turned out the light out for me when I forgot & had already got comfortable in my bed. #ThanksGeorge
Got drunk last night and tried to send out texts but Zimmerman roundhouse kicked my phone out of my hand #ThanksGeorge
Zimmerman bought 1,000 tickets for the Jacksonville Jaguars home opener just to avoid a television black out. #ThanksGeorge
- The CIA has officially—but very quietly—admitted that some allegations about its torture program were true.
- The U.S. government is suing Ferguson, Missouri, after the city tried to change a negotiated police reform settlement.
- New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has dropped out of the 2016 Republican presidential race after poor results in New Hampshire 🇺🇸