1. Watching Grass Grow
2. Watching Paint Dry
3. Waiting For A Pot Of Water To Boil
That’s right, and this video has the words “Now We’re Boiling!” in it. With an exclamation point and everything. Still more exciting than Mitt.
4. Getting A Root Canal
5. Spending A Week With Your In-Laws
6. Reading Michele Bachmann’s Book
7. Cleaning Up Dog Shit
8. Listening To A Lecture Co-Given By Michael Dukakis And Al Gore
9. Dealing With A Post-Coital Anal Froth Situation
10. The Candidacy Of Herman Cain
And he quotes Pokémon in his speeches.
- Donald Trump is the last Republican standing. Ohio Gov. John Kasich has ended his presidential run 🇺🇸
- North Carolina's law blocking trans people from some restrooms violates U.S. civil rights, the Justice Dept. says.
- Alberta, Canada, has declared a provincial state of emergency over a massive fire near Fort McMurray. The area is under mandatory evacuation.