10 Things More Exciting Than Mitt Romney’s Presidential Candidacy

Now that Chris Christie has decided against running, Mitt Romney seems like the Republican front-runner! Hurray! What’s that? Not really excited? Well maybe you should consider some of these things instead.

1. Watching Grass Grow

2. Watching Paint Dry

3. Waiting For A Pot Of Water To Boil

That’s right, and this video has the words “Now We’re Boiling!” in it. With an exclamation point and everything. Still more exciting than Mitt.

4. Getting A Root Canal

5. Spending A Week With Your In-Laws

6. Reading Michele Bachmann's Book

7. Cleaning Up Dog Shit

8. Listening To A Lecture Co-Given By Michael Dukakis And Al Gore

9. Dealing With A Post-Coital Anal Froth Situation

10. The Candidacy Of Herman Cain

And he quotes Pokémon in his speeches.

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