Uncle Phil wasn’t the only one who evicted Jazz on a near daily basis. It was a family effort.
Hillary: Get out.
Jazz: Your mouth is saying “get out,” but your eyes are saying “get busy.”
Geoffrey: Yes, Miss Hillary?
Hillary: You know what to do.
Jazz: Man, I’m starving. When do we eat here?
Uncle Phil: We eat here later. You eat here never.
Jazz: Looks like you eat here often.
Jazz: I brought a gift for baby Dickie.
Aunt Viv: Nicky. … It’s a baby pillow! Isn’t it beautiful?
Will: Jazz, this thing says “Wendy Beth” on it.
Jazz: So? When you buy a wallet, doesn’t it have someone else’s picture in it first?
Will: Jazz, you stole this pillow!
Jazz: It’s the thought that counts!
Jazz: Mr. Banks, I’m willing to take Hillary off your hands.
Will: Jazz, would you prefer a Muslim or a viking burial?
Jazz: I mean, she ain’t gettin’ any younger. I’ll put a roof over her head, and might be willing to look into a marriage license if she performs on the test drive.
Aunt Viv: Philip, get him.
Uncle Phil: What is that smell?
Will: Oh, I’m sorry Uncle Phil, I thought I was alone.
Uncle Phil: No, no I don’t mean that. Smells like cheap cologne and fried chicken.
Jazz: I resent that!
Uncle Phil: Would someone turn it up for me, please?
Will: Jazz, crank that up for me.
Uncle Phil: Ah, yes. Ah, yes, listen. Listen, darling; listen to the violins — beautiful. The oboes will be coming next.
Jazz: *begins scratching the record*
*Jazz shows up while Phil is interviewing babysitters*
Uncle Phil: Oh, please. What do you know about taking care of babies?
Jazz: Babies? I’m here to take care of Hillary!
Jazz: I’ve taken care of the entertainment for Will’s party.
Uncle Phil: Jazz, I’ve already shelled out for a DJ.
Jazz: Perfect! Now we’ll have music for my stripper!
Aunt Viv: Oh, no. You are not bringing a naked woman in my house.
Jazz: You don’t understand, Mrs. Banks. She don’t come in naked. …Uh oh.
Jazz: I brought you a gift. They’re false teeth! They were my grandmom’s. She don’t need ‘em no more. … I know that look. You’re not getting any younger. This isn’t good for your back! I brought this on myself.
Jazz: Will, could you do one thing for me? Just for old time’s sake.
Will: Sure, no problem, man.
12. And in an odd twist, Jazz once got thrown inside.
Jazz: The joke’s on you, Mr. Banks. You can’t throw me out, I’m already outside.