“Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Find Waldo. And destroy him.”
“So their story is he’s the CEO, Chairman, President, Managing Director and sole stockholder … but he’s not in charge?”
“Then at the end of the week Michelle and I are going windsurfing for the first time ever. We’re pretty stoked… What?”
White House Chief of Staff Jack Lew was not consulted prior to the posting of this picture.
“That was a big f***ing kiss, bro. I was loving it.”
Construction worker: “You aahr!” Obama: “Nah, YOU aahr!” … Christie: “I swallowed a bug.”
“You really don’t think there’s anything good in those tax returns? I bet it’s delicious.”
Years later, Jay Carney would try to picture the Rose Garden on the day that touched the lives and hearts of so many Latinos … and remember only his game of brickbreaker.
“I may offer you a paw, but that does not mean I’m not f***ing skeptical.”
The Secret Service didn’t notice the girl from The Ring until far too late.
“How much choom total, bro, all four years? This much? More? … No way. I’ll stop when I get an answer, bro.”
- Two bomb attacks in Nigeria's central city of Jos killed at least 44 people.
- Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis has resigned following an overwhelming "no" vote on new austerity measures tied to further bailout funds. The country's future in the eurozone is uncertain.
- The U.S. defeated Japan 5-2 in Vancouver in the final match of the FIFA Women's World Cup. It was the highest scoring final in the history of the tournament ⚽️