Four Super Tuesday Burgers

Dorm Room Dinner has applied its culinary talents to the Republican primary, creating a special hamburger and description — a kind of hamburger attack ad — for each of the candidates who have thrown their hats in the ring. Not sure which one looks tastiest. posted on

1. Rick Santorum: “The Family Values Burger”

All-Beef Burger, Totally-Not-Gay Special Rainbow Sauce, Fairy Sprinkles on a Bun

“We all know how Ricky feels about the gays, which is why I created this completely family- and kid-friendly burger, perfect for you’re whole family to enjoy! You’ll taste the sanctity of traditional marriage in every bite!”

2. Mitt Romney: “The $10,000 Burger”

Premium American Wagyu Beef Burger, New England Aged Cheddar, Black Truffel, Elitist Massachusetts Greens on a Brioche Bun

“A burger this luxurious only seemed appropriate for the former business executive. And as long as we’re all protected under Romney-Care, why not have two?”

3. Newt Gingrich: “The Open Relationship Burgers”

All-Beef Burger with Mayo and Ketchup, All-Beef Cheese Burger, All-Beef Bacon Burger

“Why have just one burger when you can have three at once? That’s why I made three nice and plump burgers for Mr. Gingrich. I think he’ll like them so much he’ll want to marry all three!”

4. Ron Paul: “The Slim Burger”

Turkey Burger and Lettuce on a Bun

“Ron Paul wants a slimmer government, so I created a slimmer burger. And let’s be honest, this burger is about as exciting as the Paul campaign gets.”

Burger stylings by Will Levitt. Follow him on Twitter at @dormroomdinner.

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