lol

JPMorgan Shows Exactly How To Not Use Twitter

#AskJPM indeed. Update - 7:05 PM ET: JPMorgan cancelled. posted on

1. A week ago, JPMorgan announced a “#TwitterTakeover” for this Thursday afternoon. The original announcement went under the radar.

It’s a #TwitterTakeover: We'll host our 1st live Q&A on leadership & career advice w/a leading $JPM exec on 11/14. Use #AskJPM to submit a Q

3. The next day, the bank teased it again. Who could the mystery executive be?

What career advice would you ask a leading exec at a global firm? Tweet a Q using #AskJPM. On 11/14 a $JPM leader takes over @JPMorgan

5. Wall Street legend Jimmy Lee! The “banker’s banker” and JPMorgan Vice Chairman, famous for his slicked back hair, aggressive dealmaking, and dominance in syndicated loans and private equity deals.

He's been a part of Wall St.'s biggest deals @Dell, @GM. $JPM Vice Chairman Jimmy Lee takes over @JPMorgan on 11/14 #AskJPM

Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

8. This is a slightly odd choice. While Lee tends to pop up to provide a juicy quote in long magazine articles about JPMorgan, he’s not exactly fond of Twitter.

"Today if you want to have a voice on the Dell deal, all you have to do is tweet." Jimmy Lee of JPM #dbconf

10. And then today, less than 24 hours before Lee would field questions on “his experiences, leadership & career advice,” exactly what always happens…happened.

12. Surely all of those tweets are people earnestly asking questions that they hope Jimmy Lee will answer!

Has the raw cunning of the electricity bid-rigging scheme has been unfairly overshadowed by the scale of the mortgage settlement? #AskJPM

Every time another person loses their home to an illegal foreclosure, does a bell ring? #AskJPM

If it came out Jamie Dimon had a propensity for eating Irish children, would you fire him? What if he's still "a good earner"? #AskJPM

Do you have a secret jail in your offices so your executives get at least one chance to see the inside of one? #AskJPM

Crime: A) Totally pays, just look at us B) Boy I don't know C) If a market-maker does it that means it's not illegal #AskJPM

Are you sitting back laughing, as at the end of the day you'll delete this account and still have unlawfully, all that money? #askJPM

I have Mortgage Fraud, Market Manipulation, Credit Card Abuse, Libor Rigging and Predatory Lending AM I DIVERSIFIED? #AskJPM

Oh my lord, the #askjpm session. Will go down as case study in corporate use of social media.

26. So far, @JPMorgan, much like the real JPMorgan, just seems to be taking it.

$JPM VC Jimmy Lee is taking over @JPMorgan on 11/14 at 1pm ET. Tweet Qs using #AskJPM & learn more about him here: http://t.co/eTDT8pJeq8

27. Maybe they just need a puppy.

30. Update - 7:05 PM ET: JPMorgan cancelled it

Following #AskJPM debacle, J.P. Morgan to cancel its Q&A tomorrow: "#Bad idea! Back to the drawing board!" spokesman tells me.

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