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JPMorgan Shows Exactly How To Not Use Twitter

#AskJPM indeed. Update - 7:05 PM ET: JPMorgan cancelled.

1. A week ago, JPMorgan announced a “#TwitterTakeover” for this Thursday afternoon. The original announcement went under the radar.


J.P. Morgan

@jpmorgan

It’s a #TwitterTakeover: We’ll host our 1st live Q&A on leadership & career advice w/a leading $JPM exec on 11/14. Use #AskJPM to submit a Q

/ Via

3. The next day, the bank teased it again. Who could the mystery executive be?


J.P. Morgan

@jpmorgan

What career advice would you ask a leading exec at a global firm? Tweet a Q using #AskJPM. On 11/14 a $JPM leader takes over @JPMorgan

/ Via

5. Wall Street legend Jimmy Lee! The “banker’s banker” and JPMorgan Vice Chairman, famous for his slicked back hair, aggressive dealmaking, and dominance in syndicated loans and private equity deals.

He's been a part of Wall St.'s biggest deals @Dell, @GM. $JPM Vice Chairman Jimmy Lee takes over @JPMorgan on 11/14 #AskJPM

— jpmorgan (@J.P. Morgan)

J.P. Morgan

@jpmorgan

He’s been a part of Wall St.’s biggest deals @Dell, @GM. $JPM Vice Chairman Jimmy Lee takes over @JPMorgan on 11/14 #AskJPM

/ Via
Andrew H. Walker / Getty Images

8. This is a slightly odd choice. While Lee tends to pop up to provide a juicy quote in long magazine articles about JPMorgan, he’s not exactly fond of Twitter.

"Today if you want to have a voice on the Dell deal, all you have to do is tweet." Jimmy Lee of JPM #dbconf

— williamalden (@Will Alden)

Will Alden

@williamalden

“Today if you want to have a voice on the Dell deal, all you have to do is tweet.” Jimmy Lee of JPM #dbconf

/ Via

10. And then today, less than 24 hours before Lee would field questions on “his experiences, leadership & career advice,” exactly what always happens…happened.

12. Surely all of those tweets are people earnestly asking questions that they hope Jimmy Lee will answer!

Hey look, @JPMorgan wants us to ask them questions under the hashtag #AskJPM! cc @StrikeDebt @OccupyWallSt @OccupyWallStNYC

— alexisgoldstein (@alexis goldstein)

alexis goldstein

@alexisgoldstein

Hey look, @JPMorgan wants us to ask them questions under the hashtag #AskJPM! cc @StrikeDebt @OccupyWallSt @OccupyWallStNYC

/ Via

Has the raw cunning of the electricity bid-rigging scheme has been unfairly overshadowed by the scale of the mortgage settlement? #AskJPM

— mattyglesias (@Matt Yglesias)

Matt Yglesias

@mattyglesias

Has the raw cunning of the electricity bid-rigging scheme has been unfairly overshadowed by the scale of the mortgage settlement? #AskJPM

/ Via

How do you decide who to forclose on? Darts or a computer program? #AskJPM

— reftpt (@Jennifer Reft)

Jennifer Reft

@reftpt

How do you decide who to forclose on? Darts or a computer program? #AskJPM

/ Via

Every time another person loses their home to an illegal foreclosure, does a bell ring? #AskJPM

— amy10506 (@Amy Hunter)

Amy Hunter

@amy10506

Every time another person loses their home to an illegal foreclosure, does a bell ring? #AskJPM

/ Via

If it came out Jamie Dimon had a propensity for eating Irish children, would you fire him? What if he's still "a good earner"? #AskJPM

— kcm74 (@Kevin Murphy)

Kevin Murphy

@kcm74

If it came out Jamie Dimon had a propensity for eating Irish children, would you fire him? What if he’s still “a good earner”? #AskJPM

/ Via

Do you have a secret jail in your offices so your executives get at least one chance to see the inside of one? #AskJPM

— ddayen (@David Dayen)

David Dayen

@ddayen

Do you have a secret jail in your offices so your executives get at least one chance to see the inside of one? #AskJPM

/ Via

Why do you think its ok to outright lie, cheat and steal? #AskJPM #occupy #SergiosHouse .@jpmorgan

— CatSalonek (@Cat Salonek)

Cat Salonek

@CatSalonek

Why do you think its ok to outright lie, cheat and steal? #AskJPM #occupy #SergiosHouse .@jpmorgan

/ Via

Crime: A) Totally pays, just look at us B) Boy I don't know C) If a market-maker does it that means it's not illegal #AskJPM

— mikeconrad1 (@Mike Conrad)

Mike Conrad

@mikeconrad1

Crime: A) Totally pays, just look at us B) Boy I don’t know C) If a market-maker does it that means it’s not illegal #AskJPM

/ Via

WTF Seriously, WTF #AskJPM

— EddyElfenbein (@Eddy Elfenbein)

Eddy Elfenbein

@EddyElfenbein

WTF

Seriously, WTF

#AskJPM

/ Via

Mr. Dimon, which of your abject failures are you proudest of? http://t.co/vd66214HeJ #ASKJPM

— RudyHavenstein (@Rudolf E. Havenstein)

Rudolf E. Havenstein

@RudyHavenstein

Mr. Dimon, which of your abject failures are you proudest of?

http://t.co/vd66214HeJ

#ASKJPM

/ Via

Are you sitting back laughing, as at the end of the day you'll delete this account and still have unlawfully, all that money? #askJPM

— E_M_Edwards (@E. M. Edwards)

E. M. Edwards

@E_M_Edwards

Are you sitting back laughing, as at the end of the day you’ll delete this account and still have unlawfully, all that money? #askJPM

/ Via

I have Mortgage Fraud, Market Manipulation, Credit Card Abuse, Libor Rigging and Predatory Lending AM I DIVERSIFIED? #AskJPM

— ReformedBroker (@Downtown Josh Brown)

Downtown Josh Brown

@ReformedBroker

I have Mortgage Fraud, Market Manipulation, Credit Card Abuse, Libor Rigging and Predatory Lending AM I DIVERSIFIED? #AskJPM

/ Via

Oh my lord, the #askjpm session. Will go down as case study in corporate use of social media.

— grossdm (@Daniel Gross)

Daniel Gross

@grossdm

Oh my lord, the #askjpm session. Will go down as case study in corporate use of social media.

/ Via

26. So far, @JPMorgan, much like the real JPMorgan, just seems to be taking it.

$JPM VC Jimmy Lee is taking over @JPMorgan on 11/14 at 1pm ET. Tweet Qs using #AskJPM & learn more about him here: http://t.co/eTDT8pJeq8

— jpmorgan (@J.P. Morgan)

J.P. Morgan

@jpmorgan

$JPM VC Jimmy Lee is taking over @JPMorgan on 11/14 at 1pm ET. Tweet Qs using #AskJPM & learn more about him here: http://t.co/eTDT8pJeq8

/ Via

27. Maybe they just need a puppy.

Do you like puppies? If you had a puppy, what would you name him? #AskJPM

— matt_levine (@Matt Levine)

Matt Levine

@matt_levine

Do you like puppies? If you had a puppy, what would you name him? #AskJPM

/ Via

30. Update - 7:05 PM ET: JPMorgan cancelled it

Following #AskJPM debacle, J.P. Morgan to cancel its Q&A tomorrow: "#Bad idea! Back to the drawing board!" spokesman tells me.

— DaveCBenoit (@Dave Benoit)

Dave Benoit

@DaveCBenoit

Following #AskJPM debacle, J.P. Morgan to cancel its Q&A tomorrow: “#Bad idea! Back to the drawing board!” spokesman tells me.

/ Via

Tomorrow's Q&A is cancelled. Bad Idea. Back to the drawing board.

— jpmorgan (@J.P. Morgan)

J.P. Morgan

@jpmorgan

Tomorrow’s Q&A is cancelled. Bad Idea. Back to the drawing board.

/ Via

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Matthew Zeitlin is a business reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Zeitlin reports on Wall Street and big banks.
Contact Matthew Zeitlin at matt.zeitlin@buzzfeed.com
 
 
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