Did You Know They Give Out Awards To Hedge Funds?

Because apparently tons of money isn’t enough.

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On Valentine’s Eve, the hedge fund world braved the tail end of a blizzard to give itself a big hug at an elaborate gathering inside New York City’s Gotham Hall.

The grand, columned venue played host to the Absolute Return Awards, an event recognizing the best of the best in the hedge fund world, at least according to Hedge Fund Intelligence, a collection of trade publications covering the hedge fund industry.

Winners in 17 categories including “Arbitrage and Collectibles” and “Specialist Equity” collected their awards after a fourth quarter of last year spent collecting mounds of cold, hard cash. Here’s a look at some of the winners and just how deserved they were:

3. U.S. Equity Winner: Glenview Capital Management

The firm, which has nearly $14 billion under management, grew its assets by $2.1 billion in the fourth quarter of last year alone, according to Whale Wisdom, a hedge fund database.

4. Arbitrage and Convertibles Winner: Paulson & Co.

It was called the best of 2013, probably fitting for this $20 billion fund run by comeback king John Paulson. The fund grew its assets by nearly $5 billion in the fourth quarter.

5. Long Term Performance Winner: Millennium Management

The giant hedge fund has $31.6 billion in assets.

6. Managed Futures Winner: Two Sigma Investments

The fund raised its assets by nearly $2.5 billion to just over $18 billion in the fourth quarter. Not bad.

7. Global Macro Winner: Citadel Advisors

Oh, they also turned their $65 billion into $77 billion in just the last three months of 2013.

8. But really with hedge funds, they’re all winners in their own eyes.

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