Tech

The World Is A Horrible Place So Let’s Go To The Most Remote Locations On Earth

If you need me, I’ll be waiting out this wretched summer at my POLE OF INACCESSIBILITY.

GORP, a nutricious and tasty snack you should pack before your journey to one of the following remote destinations.

Ever have one of those days/weeks/months/seasons where you wish you could zap off to a place so remote, so desolate, that no one could talk to you and there is definitely no WiFi?

Turns out there’s actually a scientific definition for these places. Ready for it? It’s perfect: Pole of Inaccessibility.

What a name, right?

There’s several different types of Poles Of Inaccessibility. Continental ones are defined as the spot on each continent that is farthest away from any ocean, and the Oceanic Pole of Inaccessibility is the point farthest from any dry land. The northern pole is in the Arctic ocean; there’s a southern pole too, but it’s just in Antarctica.

It’s all a little confusing but keep in mind these aren’t “real” things. Sure, scientists have measured them out, but it seems like it’s more of a hobby for Gore-Tex’ed up adventurers who want to make a big point of going somewhere that is Hard To Get To. These knuckleheads are too busy making their own GORP and applying SPF lip balm to worry about the whys and the hows.

3. Oceanic Pole of Inaccessibility, aka “Point Nemo”

 

Located between South America and New Zealand, it’s just a bunch of water. BUT! Google Maps does a cool thing where they sort of watermark the word “Point Nemo” into the satellite image.

4. Australia

 

AAHHHHH SEND ME OUT TO THE BUSH AND LET TUMBLEWEEDS ROLL ACROSS MY BAD DUMB BODY.

5. South America

 

Located in Brazil by the Bolivia border. It’s right near a highway, so, it’s not exactly the HARDEST pole to get to. Probably lots of bugs, too.

6. North America

 

Located in South Dakoka, just a few miles north Allen, SD, an Indian Reservation town that is, as of the most recent census, the poorest place in America.

7. Africa

 

This is located in the eastern part of Central African Republic, near the borders of South Sudan and Democratic Republic of Congo.

8. Eurasia

 

There’s a few different theories about the exact location, based on different ways of measuring, but they’re all relatively near to each other. But let’s just say it’s this most popularly accepted one, in China near the border of Mongolia. Ahhhhh look at this long expanse of land. So peaceful, so quiet. Let’s just go there.

9. Northern Pole of Inaccessibility

 

BRRRRRRRRRR. This is located in the middle of the Arctic ocean, further from land than the geographic or magnetic North Poles (they’re different, not sure which one Santa lives at tbh). [The satellite image of the map just looks like boring ocean, so let’s look at some icebergs.]

10. Are you feeling refreshed already? Well feel free to unhook your bra because NO ONE is going to bother you at best one…..

11. Southern Pole of Inaccessibility (in Antarctica)

 

12. That’s right. There is a giant statue of Lenin in the most remote spot in Antarctica.

13. The station was made by Soviet explorers in 1958 (hence, the Lenin statue), but is mostly buried in snow now.

Stein Tronstad / Norwegian Polar Institute

14. Ugh, even in the most desolate and remote place on Earth, you can’t get away from people talking about politics. Might as well stay home.

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