1. So. You’ve found yourself arguing on the internet again, eh?
2. Some IDIOT said something on Facebook or Twitter that just pissed you off SO BAD.
3. You want to win this. You want to humilitate this troll. You want him to cry and never show his face on the internet again.
4. Before you proceed into the fiery depths of a flame war, a few warnings:
5. Sometimes you find yourself going back and forth over the same point, and no one’s winning.
10. A great tactic is to always reference that he or she certainly lives in his mother’s basement.
11. If you’re lucky, they’ll say “your” instead of “you’re” and then you can go for the jugular (just kidding, this is a bad strategy).
12. Start piling on the insults. Might I recommend: mouthbreather, clowndildo, turdsniffer, turdlicker, toiletface, fedorahumper.
13. Oooh ho ho ho, now you’ve really got them against the ropes.
18. You’re about to invoke Hitler. Do you know who else always brought up Hitler? Hitler. DO NOT INVOKE HITLER.
21. At some point, you realize that all internet arguments are kind of the same.
Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about the intersection of tech and web culture.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at firstname.lastname@example.org.