How To Argue On The Internet, As Explained By Bugs Bunny

Eh, what’s up, n00b?

1. So. You’ve found yourself arguing on the internet again, eh?

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2. Some IDIOT said something on Facebook or Twitter that just pissed you off SO BAD.

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3. You want to win this. You want to humilitate this troll. You want him to cry and never show his face on the internet again.

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4. Before you proceed into the fiery depths of a flame war, a few warnings:

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5. Sometimes you find yourself going back and forth over the same point, and no one’s winning.

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6. Perhaps you can find a common enemy.

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7. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and move on.

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8. Now. If you want to keep going, listen up.

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9. Get ready. You’re about to pwn this clown.

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10. A great tactic is to always reference that he or she certainly lives in his mother’s basement.

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11. If you’re lucky, they’ll say “your” instead of “you’re” and then you can go for the jugular (just kidding, this is a bad strategy).

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12. Start piling on the insults. Might I recommend: mouthbreather, clowndildo, turdsniffer, turdlicker, toiletface, fedorahumper.

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13. Oooh ho ho ho, now you’ve really got them against the ropes.

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14. Nice work.

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15. It should be smooth sailing from here, right?

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16. This would be a good time to remind them:

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17. Oh, but what’s this? They just told you to Go Die In A Fire?

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18. You’re about to invoke Hitler. Do you know who else always brought up Hitler? Hitler. DO NOT INVOKE HITLER.

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19. Shake it off. Shake it off. Don’t let the trolls get to you.

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20. Back to your happy place. Back to your happy place.

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21. At some point, you realize that all internet arguments are kind of the same.

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22. No one actually ever wins.

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23. Ok, look. Face it. It’s just time to LOG OFF.

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Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about tech and internet culture is cohost of the Internet Explorer podcast.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at

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