How To Achieve Your Cyber Monday Destiny

Today is not just any Monday.

1. You’ve been hearing people talk about “Cyber Monday” and you’re confused.

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2. You might be feeling shame and self-loathing because you don’t know how to cyber.

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3. Don’t worry, I’m here as your Cyber Guide.

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4. First of all, THIS IS NOT A GAME.

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5. Second, get to a secure cybering location.

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6. Now apply your Cyber Monday equipment to your human body.

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7. You are about to cross the cyber rubicon; you cannot return.

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8. Look closely.

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9. Allow your mind to enter cyberspace.

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10. Do you see the deals? Reach for the deals. There are many great Cyber Monday deals.

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11. You may feel your mind expanding.

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12. In cyberspace, no one can hear you shop ‘til you drop.

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13. Deals! Do you see the DEALS? There are deals on consumer electronics. Can you see them?

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14. Break free from the chains of the IRL world, with its “stores” and “checkout lines” and “cashiers.”

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15. Today, on this Monday, you are reborn as a Cyber Shopper.

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16. You are AWARE now. Finally, you’re awake.

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17. Let your fingers guide you through your favorite e-commerce sites.

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18. Do you feel it? We are connected. We now shop as one, getting up to 30% off our favorite holiday gifts.

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19. Just remember to have

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20. Congratulations, I am so proud of you. You have become a

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