27 Way More Awesome Things To Buy With $38 Than Facebook Stock

Facebook shares are going for $38 a pop. Is that really the best use of your hard-earned cash? Here’s what you could be getting instead.

1. Wrestling singlet ($37.99)

2. Jerry Garcia wood painting ($38.00)

3. Laser printer toner cartridge ($37.99)

4. 38 bags of Flamin’ Hot Lays chips in 1.875oz bag ($37.32)

5. Batman cufflinks ($38.00)

6. Chaser Plus hangover prevention pills ($38.00)

7. Aromatherapy stuffed raccoon ($37.00)

How is aromatherapy? Who care, it’s cute and I want to squeeze it.

8. Sloth necklace

9. Waffle cone maker ($37.00)

10. “Blade” Trilogy on Blu-ray ($37.59)

Remember that scene where they’re in a goth rave and then blood comes out of the sprinkler system all the vampires eat the humans? That ruled.

11. KitchenAid 17-piece utensil set ($37.98)

12. 2 bottles of pure emu oil ($37.60)

I have no idea what that is, is it for oiling your emu? Why do you have an emu and why does it need to be oiled?

13. Wine aerator and decanter ($37.91)

14. Green Bay Packers party set ($37.35)

15. Wool hat with attached beard ($38.00)

16. Size 7.5 vintage boots ($38.00)

if this is your size, BUY THESE - they’re dope as heck

17. Tenor recorder ($37.95)

18. Rasta colored furry rave boots ($38.00)

20. Giant shark wall decal ($37.95)

21. Anatomy model set ($37.99)

22. Laser pointer stylus pen ($37.99)

23. Delightful horse needlepoint throw pillow ($37.50)

24. Ruby pumps ($37.25)

25. Curly red wig ($37.99)

26. Tuxedo paisley vest and tie set ($37.90)

You can wear this while taking your date you met over Facebook to prom!

27. Stuffed Corgi ($34.99 - use your extra $3.01 to get yourself a latte)

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Katie Notopoulos is a senior editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Notopoulos writes about the intersection of tech and web culture.
Contact Katie Notopoulos at
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