The App For Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Plans

Not that you want any, or need any. I didn’t mean it like that.

If you haven’t yet made plans for Valentine’s Day, which is three days away — and a holiday for which you feel either a sweet, simple fondness, or else a deep and total hatred for its enforcement and commercialization of cheer and affection, or else nothing at all, it’s not even a day you would notice or realize the date of until it is passed and you laugh with your friends, like, “Haha, yesterday was Valentine’s Day? I literally had no idea. I had noooo idea. Wow, that’s weird, but also not that weird, because I just didn’t notice” — you might try doing nothing different at all from what you would do on any other day, or else you might want help making plans. If it’s the latter, you could visit Foursquare Explore, which has undergone a temporary pink makeover in light of the holiday.

You have two choices: You can visit the Dream Date page or, if you’re feeling more despondent, the Dream Hate page, which you get to by clicking on the “BOO! I don’t care!” button in the top right corner. Dream Date will help you make Valentine’s Day plans (though honestly, if you are in a couple, or married, and were planning to do something for this day, shouldn’t you have already figured it out? Don’t you feel horrible?), if you want those plans include flowers and a “romantic spot” in town. It will also help you find a candy store, and some users may find that that kind of assistance is useful regardless of the day, really.

The Dream Hate page gives you three options, but actually they are just three varieties of one option: drinking. You can look for a dive bar, a whiskey bar, or a martini bar. (“What about a bar…of soap? Haha.” This is why you’re alone!) Maybe you already know where all the best bars are, or you’re well aware of the nearest liquor store and that feels like a better option for everyone involved because that way you don’t have to wear clothes, but sometimes it might just be nice to look at a map and to see what other, cooler people have said about the places you probably will not even go to. But you might go! There is still time to decide, no pressure.

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