The Weird And Wonderful First Tweets Of Jake Tapper

CNN’s newest hire, one of the most followed reporters in Washington, at his most Tapper-y. From 2009. posted on

2. There was reporting:

reporter to biden; how r u feeling? VP Biden: i feel great bc i dont have to do anything. (just a few min ago)

3. There was snark:

why do so many infamous plagiarists flock to one particular media organization that is not my own?

4. There was… this:

5. There were celebrities:

@jimmyfallon" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/jimmyfallon">@jimmyfallon dude, critics vilifed conan in his first yr. ignore. do your thing and continue to show that u enjoy it. people r rooting 4 u

6. Deep thoughts:

What IS it w/Elmo? in 15 years an evil scientist will hit a switch & everyone born after 1990 will join an Elmo Army and kill the rest of us

7. And trenchant movie critiques:

i still think about the film "Se7en" on occasion, 14 yrs after its release...tho i must confess i found wrath and envy contrived.

congrats to @aplusk" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/aplusk">@aplusk on reaching 1 million twitter followers. "Butterfly Effect" is vastly underrated. cheers

9. He wasn’t afraid to go meta:

media people are going to chase me off twitter by talking about themselves and twitter. oh wait, im doing the same thing.

10. To speak directly to the American People:

Matt Giraud also rocks it out. i do not get Adamn Lambert's appeal to the judges; I'd rather watch Orszag do his taxes.

11. Or to reveal his deepest secrets:

my mom framed an old foto of me as a baby,her+dad. I once thot I was a cute baby butnowthat I have a cute baby I see I looked like a monkey

12. He didn’t shy away from hard truths:

God love her, but my mother-in-law's coffee tastes like petroleum.

13. And wasn’t afraid to tell you what’s good for you:

U spend a 1/4 to 1/3 of your life in bed. Buy a good mattress, for the love of Pete.

14. He hated Adam Lambert:

Somewhere Johnny Cash just vomited in his grave. What IS it with this Idol contestant and why do the judges love him so?

15. And loved the written word:

first sentence of my new novel: Our love spoiled like a jug of milk left in the sun --curdled and funky but perversely delicious.

Morning haiku: Assets are toxic/but will not be forever/except some of them?

17. He called for civility:

enough bile out there that i dont need it here on twitter.dialogue, yes. insults no. blog comment board and bathroom walls still avail 4 all

18. And racial harmony:

I suppose as far as ethnic stereotypes go, we shd be happy Nintendo didn't make Super Mario Bros. part of an organized crime family- grazie

19. He knew how to speak the language of the NET:

"i'm biased towards nurses, i just like nurses," says POTUS. somewhere my nurse mom is smiling. w00t to the nurses out there

20. And loved telling jokes:

little known fact about such summits: it is permitted to give surprise shoulder massages called "merkels"

am i rocking this briefing book over a merlot? ARE THE CENTRAL BANKS MAINTAINING EXPANSIONARY POLICIES??!

tweeps, your detective work is 'Cold Case' worthy. i AM from philly + a fan of Tastycake Butterscotch Krimpets. plus i am jet lagged.

for angry libs complaining about the iPod story: who do you think is sharing this info about the iPod? u think we broke into buckingham?

25. Basically, the feed used to be RAW TAPPER, and it was great:

Good luck at your new job Tweeting for CNN, Jake. Just don’t forget your roots.

27. Tapper responds! To a joke about how he used to be better at Twitter:

@jwherrman" target="_blank">http://twitter.com/jwherrman">@jwherrman ZOMG you're right (hangs head in shame)

Don’t worry, Tap. Still got it.

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