So you've decided to filibuster. Congratulations! You're about to take part in a proud American tradition.
Careful, filibustering can be a long and tiring process...
Fortunately, there are some tried and true tactics for making sure your filibuster can go all night.
1. Always bring along some light reading. You'll never know when you might have to fill some downtime.
Dr. Seuss is currently the Senate favorite, but don't ever feel limited. This is your time to shine!
View this video on YouTube
Beautiful reading, Sen. Cruz!
2. Done right, your filibuster will last for hours, so make sure to bring along some educational charts.
If posters aren't your strong suit, never be afraid to ask your colleagues for help. They are experts at the visual arts.
3. Always be sure to get nice and loose before you start! The current record stands at 24 hours and 18 minutes — aim for the gold!
4. And take it easy on the stimulants. You don't want to be a nervous wreck out there.
5. Remember, dress for success! You don't want to be in any sort of discomfort.
Work it, Senator Davis!