1. On the last day of the papal conclave, there was a seagull flying about.
2. Tired, the seagull landed upon a chimney.
3. But this was not just any chimney.
4. No, this was the papal chimney.
5. This was the chimney from which the world would learn there is a new pope.
6. And there the bird sat, blissfully unaware the eyes of the world were transfixed upon him.
7. Until he was done sitting and then he left.
8. God bless you pope bird. Amen.
- World leaders have agreed to a "cessation of hostilities" in Syria and expanded humanitarian aid, U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry said.
- Time for Democratic presidential debate number six: Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders will face each other in Wisconsin tonight 🇺🇸