1. This is James Valentine.
2. This is James Valentine with a chainsaw lodged in his neck.
3. James works for a tree service and was attempting some trimming in Ross Township, Pa. on Monday, but his chainsaw kicked back and BURIED ITSELF IN HIS FREAKING NECK.
4. “I felt it and shut the saw off. It was in me and still running,” said a miraculously-still-alive Valentine.
5. “He was impaled there when we found him,” said EMS first responder Greg Porter. “He never lost consciousness, which is amazing when you think about it.”
6. Crews disassembled the engine to the chainsaw, but had to leave the blade and chain within Valentine to prevent him from bleeding out as they transported him to the hospital.
7. Doctors and paramedics say that if the chainsaw had gone just in inch or two in either direction, it might have been a very different outcome. “In his case, blessedly, he missed every important structure,” said Valentine’s surgeon, Dr. Christine Toevs.
9. Just a reminder that, no matter how bad your day is, THIS MAN HAD A CHAINSAW BURIED IN HIS FREAKING NECK.
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