The 7 Most God-Awful Websites In The Senate

Hey, senators: 2002 is calling, and it wants its web designers back.

7. The Senate webpage of Dick “I Love Gradients” Durbin (D-IL):

It’s kind of like you’re squinting, kind of like you’re blacking out.

ID: 973996

6. Frank Lautenburg’s (D-NJ) webpage:

I mean, at 89 he honestly has all the excuses in the world. Ride it out, Senator!

ID: 974019

5. John McCain’s (R-AZ) website/personal Tumblr:

Dear Mr. McCain, you are the 24th-richest man in Congress, according to Roll Call, and arguably the most famous. This looks like a Tumblr. You can do better.

ID: 974028

4. Chuck Schumer’s (D-NY) confusing portal to the ’90s:

Ring! Ring! 1998 is calling for your website.

ID: 974050

Some parts are needlessly vague, like his press page:

Thanks for all the help.

ID: 974052

And others are infuriatingly specific, like his attempt at beating Google Maps below:

I now know more about geographic New York than I ever have!

ID: 974054

To top it all off, a clunky blue block packed full of nano-specific links haunts you around the entire site.

So comforting!

ID: 974051

3. Harry Reid’s (D-NV) “My God, this guy is in charge of the Senate?” website:

The site is just pretty flat, web 1.0.

ID: 974073

His pictures have nice Wordpress 1.0 frames formatted around them.

So beautiful.

ID: 974067

Reid’s “Newsroom” looks like an auto-parts salvage website.

ID: 974074

2. Mike Crapo’s (R-ID) “HP Desktop in 1999” website:

Look at all the features!

ID: 974111

This senator last updated his website before Kim Kardashian married Chris Humphries.

I’m sure the senator’s site has been more successful, though.

ID: 974117

Yes, he does have a pronunciation of his name at the top of a page.

ID: 974112

Yes, he does have a creepy “Where George Washington Slept” section on his website.

I mean who wouldn’t?

ID: 974116

His website does demonstrate the mind-numbingness of government bureaucracy.

Point taken.

ID: 974107

Crapo’s press releases page looks a bit like a NASA Excel sheet.

Simple algorithm here.

ID: 974113

Crapo’s multimedia world landing page is running Adobe 7.

Oh, the colorful glory of the internet!

ID: 974119

It provides an entire block of complex, non-intuitive shortcuts.

Thank god! How would I ever be able open or close the gallery interface?

ID: 974123

And most of the photos are just not that gallery-worthy.

Although I did always want to know what a Crapo PowerPoint looked like.

ID: 974125

1. Bill Nelson’s (D-FL) website.


ID: 974137

There are really no formatting rules for Senator Nelson’s site.

“What shade of blue will we use today for our headlines?”

ID: 974141

There are dynamic updates from his day:

Um, yes, you are a senator.

ID: 974138

“As a former astronaut, this is so dank.”

ID: 974143

Mixed with strange staff-written stories.

“The staff camera is an Iphone apparently.”

ID: 974142

This is how the site sells the state of Florida.

With so many links, it must be the greatest state that ever existed!

ID: 974146

After 13 years in the Senate, Nelson has amassed 29 photos for his multimedia page.

ID: 974365

Congrats, Senator! Worst webpage in the Senate.

This is picture 26 out of 29 in Nelson’s gallery at full resolution. We’re not trying to be mean.

ID: 974434

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