7. The Senate webpage of Dick “I Love Gradients” Durbin (D-IL):
It’s kind of like you’re squinting, kind of like you’re blacking out.
6. Frank Lautenburg’s (D-NJ) webpage:
I mean, at 89 he honestly has all the excuses in the world. Ride it out, Senator!
5. John McCain’s (R-AZ) website/personal Tumblr:
Dear Mr. McCain, you are the 24th-richest man in Congress, according to Roll Call, and arguably the most famous. This looks like a Tumblr. You can do better.
4. Chuck Schumer’s (D-NY) confusing portal to the ’90s:
Ring! Ring! 1998 is calling for your website.
Some parts are needlessly vague, like his press page:
Thanks for all the help.
And others are infuriatingly specific, like his attempt at beating Google Maps below:
I now know more about geographic New York than I ever have!
To top it all off, a clunky blue block packed full of nano-specific links haunts you around the entire site.
3. Harry Reid’s (D-NV) “My God, this guy is in charge of the Senate?” website:
The site is just pretty flat, web 1.0.
His pictures have nice Wordpress 1.0 frames formatted around them.
Reid’s “Newsroom” looks like an auto-parts salvage website.
2. Mike Crapo’s (R-ID) “HP Desktop in 1999” website:
Look at all the features!
This senator last updated his website before Kim Kardashian married Chris Humphries.
I’m sure the senator’s site has been more successful, though.
Yes, he does have a pronunciation of his name at the top of a page.
Yes, he does have a creepy “Where George Washington Slept” section on his website.
I mean who wouldn’t?
His website does demonstrate the mind-numbingness of government bureaucracy.
Crapo’s press releases page looks a bit like a NASA Excel sheet.
Simple algorithm here.
Crapo’s multimedia world landing page is running Adobe 7.
Oh, the colorful glory of the internet!
It provides an entire block of complex, non-intuitive shortcuts.
Thank god! How would I ever be able open or close the gallery interface?
And most of the photos are just not that gallery-worthy.
Although I did always want to know what a Crapo PowerPoint looked like.
1. Bill Nelson’s (D-FL) website.
There are really no formatting rules for Senator Nelson’s site.
“What shade of blue will we use today for our headlines?”
There are dynamic updates from his day:
Um, yes, you are a senator.
“As a former astronaut, this is so dank.”
Mixed with strange staff-written stories.
“The staff camera is an Iphone apparently.”
This is how the site sells the state of Florida.
With so many links, it must be the greatest state that ever existed!
After 13 years in the Senate, Nelson has amassed 29 photos for his multimedia page.
Congrats, Senator! Worst webpage in the Senate.
This is picture 26 out of 29 in Nelson’s gallery at full resolution. We’re not trying to be mean.
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- The Pentagon has confirmed that North Korea successfully launched a satellite into orbit on Sunday night.