1. So, the Mayor of Toronto smokes some recreational crack.
4. Why is everyone forgetting that Rob Ford is the BEST mayor on the planet?
The media is NOT telling you the whole story.
5. Did you know he is a spectacular bongo player?
Probably not. You are just focused on that one time he accidentally smoked crack.
6. He kicked Hulk Hogan’s ass without even trying.
Don’t front, Hulk.
8. He holds events with girls in cabbage bikinis. Did you hear me?! CABBAGE BIKINIS.
Eat your heart out.
9. During that event he weighed himself, then he tripped off the stage and rolled his ankle.
10. He coaches a football team!
When was the last time your mayor coached a sports team?
And, like, he is really good at football.
So shut your mouth.
11. He MEANT to do this. It’s his move.
12. Did you need that action from another angle?
13. He never shies away from the media.
14. He is the best campaigner ever.
His supporters photobombed this live taping of a Toronto morning show.
15. He made himself Superman stopping a train in a campaign ad.
16. When a reporter calls him a bad name…
20. And he lets his constituents take duckface selfies with him.
21. He is really into Toronto Pride!
Ok, give him a fucking break. He is tired.
25. He says what he thinks. If a biker gets killed by a car…
“My heart bleeds for them when I hear a biker gets killed. But it’s their own fault at the end of the day.”
26. He loves the great outdoors.
When was the last time you held a wild owl? How did that work out for you?
28. He has his own video game. Can your mayor say that?!
Didn’t think so.
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