In Defense Of Rob Ford: The World’s Greatest Mayor

Don’t let the media deceive you!

1. So, the Mayor of Toronto smokes some recreational crack.

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2. He is not an addict. So, GET OVER IT.

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3. And he wants to kill people. SO WHAT?!?

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4. Why is everyone forgetting that Rob Ford is the BEST mayor on the planet?

The media is NOT telling you the whole story.

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5. Did you know he is a spectacular bongo player?

Probably not. You are just focused on that one time he accidentally smoked crack.

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6. He kicked Hulk Hogan’s ass without even trying.

Don’t front, Hulk.

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7. He is very culturally sensitive.


Even when he has no clue what is going on.

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8. He holds events with girls in cabbage bikinis. Did you hear me?! CABBAGE BIKINIS.

Eat your heart out.

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9. During that event he weighed himself, then he tripped off the stage and rolled his ankle.

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10. He coaches a football team!

When was the last time your mayor coached a sports team?

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And, like, he is really good at football.

So shut your mouth.

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11. He MEANT to do this. It’s his move.

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12. Did you need that action from another angle?

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13. He never shies away from the media.

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14. He is the best campaigner ever.


His supporters photobombed this live taping of a Toronto morning show.

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15. He made himself Superman stopping a train in a campaign ad.

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16. When a reporter calls him a bad name…

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17. He chases the reporter out of the building while questioning his manhood.

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18. This guy spoke at his inauguration.

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19. He is totally comfortable taking black-out drunk photos with his constituents.

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20. And he lets his constituents take duckface selfies with him.

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21. He is really into Toronto Pride!

Ok, give him a fucking break. He is tired.

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22. He has the greatest fashion sense of any politician ever.

Aaron Harris / Reuters

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23. He loves children.

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24. And the Hamburgler.

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25. He says what he thinks. If a biker gets killed by a car…

“My heart bleeds for them when I hear a biker gets killed. But it’s their own fault at the end of the day.”

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26. He loves the great outdoors.

When was the last time you held a wild owl? How did that work out for you?

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27. No, but seriously. Shut up.

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28. He has his own video game. Can your mayor say that?!

Didn’t think so.

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29. He is great for internet memes!


When was the last time your mayor was a meme, jerk?

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30. So here’s to you Rob Ford:

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