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13 Pieces Of Life Advice From Joe Biden

You too can some day be vice president!

“You know, I’m embarrassed. Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t.”

“If you want to keep people away during an earthquake, buy some shotgun shells.”

“Use a shotgun on someone invading your home and you don’t kill your kids – use an AR-15, it goes through your wall and it can kill your kid in the bedroom.”

“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

“My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!”

“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.”

“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.”

“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.”

“A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!”

Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008

“Now, people when I say that look at me and say, ‘What are you talking about, Joe? You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt? The answer is yes, that’s what I’m telling you.”

“I was kind of secretly hoping one of my kids would go out and make a million bucks. So when they put me in a home, at least I’ll have a window with a view.”

“Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.”

“Thank you!”

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