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11 Biggest Problems You’ll Have Being An NFL Lineman In Congress

Congress needs to be bigger.

Meet former NFL Pro Bowler Jon Runyan. He is 6’7, 330 pounds.

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He spent 14 (!) years doing this for a living:

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He played offensive tackle for the Oilers, Eagles and Chargers.

After all those seasons, Runyan decided to join a far less functional group of barbarians….

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…the U.S. Congress.

Runyan has represented New Jersey’s 3rd congressional district since 2011.

But he still has some big problems.

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1. Like fitting into the door of a House office.

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Problematic.

 

2. Holding back when a staffer screws up.

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Sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

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3. Dealing with the House podiums.

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Naturally, the mic is never tall enough.

 

4. Drinking fountains are a mess.

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5. And the House cafeteria never has enough food.

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6. Other members of Congress asking you to help them re-create their favorite movie posters.

 

Rep. Adam Kinzinger, everyone!

7. “Jon, since you are over, could you help me hang this SWAG?”

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“Sure bro, no problem.”

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8. Congressional subway cars designed for multiple members only fitting one person when you’re riding.

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9. Trying to get some work done and other members of congress asking you for autographs.

 

Especially when those other members represent a team that you hate!

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Rep. Sean Duffy of Wisconsin, everyone!

What you really want to do is remind them of when you personally destroyed their heroes…

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… but it is much more fun to just do the same things to them.

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10. But eventually, just having to give into the autograph requests.

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Rep. Paul Ryan and cheesehead.

“All right, Paul, you did run for vice president…”

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11. Knowing deep down that they will need an extra large frame for your portrait someday.

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But at least at the end of the day, you will be making important decisions as a United States congressman.

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And be a ringer on the congressional football team.

You can always say to yourself…

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