Evil Power-Hungry Groundhog Punxsatawney Phil Says We’re Getting Six More Weeks Of Winter

Thanks, Phil. (Phil? Phil? Phil? PHIL CONNORS? Is that you?) posted on

1. This is Punxsutawney Phil, the famed groundhog who plays god and annually predicts whether or not his minions will have to suffer through six more weeks of winter.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

2. He’s the world’s most famous groundhog, and in Punxsutawney, Penn. he has a lot of fans.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

3. This morning, thousands gathered at Gobbler’s Knob (braving temperatures in the 30s) to hear Phil’s prediction on the 128th Groundhog Day.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters
Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

5. The myth has is that if it’s cloudy when the groundhog leaves his private lair in this tree, there will be an end to winter. If it’s sunny, Phil will see his shadow and pop back down into the ground, and winter will continue for six more weeks.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

6. Phil emerged at 7:28 a.m. ET, USA Today reports. He was brought to the podium by a group of local officials/mere unworthy mortals known as the “Inner Circle.”

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

7. The groundhog then spoke in “groundhogese” to members of the Inner Circle.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

“More winter is coming, bitches!” he whispered.

8. The organization’s president, Bill Deeley, translated the prediction into English and read it to the crowd.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

A Super Bowl winner I will not predict,

but my weather forecast you cannot contradict.

Why that’s not a football but my shadow I see,

It’s six more weeks of winter it must be!

10. Six.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

11. More.

AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar

12. Weeks.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

13. There were even monsters in the crowd, egging Phil on.

Stephanie Strasburg / Reuters

14. Hopefully you’ll cheer up next year, Phil.

Jason Cohn / Reuters / Reuters

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