1. Humanity, go home. Your job is done here. A new vending machine called Burrito Box in Los Angeles is dispensing hot burritos now.
2. Burrito Box, which can be accessed on the World Wide Web via TasteTheBurritoBox.com, offers up an interactive touchscreen menu and the choice of five burrito flavors for $3.
3. The flavors are chorizo sausage (egg and cheese), uncured bacon (egg and cheese), shredded beef (and cheese), free-range chicken (rice and beans) and roasted potato (egg and cheese).
4. You can get guacamole, sour cream, or Tabasco sauce on these bad boys as an optional choice.
Tabasco is $0.65, sour cream is $0.50, and guacamole is $0.75.
5. Here’s the cute little Tabasco bottle you get.
6. As you get super-pumped waiting for your burrito, a video plays, while the magic happens.
7. So how do they taste?? Um, early reports are not encouraging.
8. LAist tried all five flavors and used words like “bland,” “colorless and unappetizing,” and “sausage that didn’t taste like sausage.”