1. This bed sheet is completely out of control.
2. These are running amuck.
3. This sheet isn't particularly interested in your personal happiness.
4. This man is laying down because that sheet punched him in the face for no reason.
5. While we're at it, comforters are pretty awful, too.
6. This comforter and this mug need to hold hands and kick rocks together.
7. This comforter is a clear and obvious supporter of the sheet agenda.
8. This comforter was spotted at a sheet's rights rally just last week.
9. Anyway, back to the tyranny of the sheet.
10. This sheet followed this guy all the way to the beach just to ruin his vacation.
11. These sheets once stole my wallet and helped me look for it afterward.
12. This sheet won the Hater of the Year award 4 years in a row.
13. BURN EVERY SHEET ON EARTH.
14. Okay wait, this guy probably really needs this sheet.
15. But this sheet can go DIRECTLY to hell.
16. Ban sheets.
Thirty-something from Louisville, KY. Made of bourbon and awesome.
Contact Tracy Clayton at email@example.com.
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