I’ll buy the iPhone 5 if you can turn it into a fleshlight.— Chris Orâ€ iz
#iPhone5Features You can now have sex with it!— Matt Funke
iPhone 5 come out already I want to fuck the shit out of you !!!!!— frankie aldana
A fleshlight.RT @gitweeta: iPhone 5 to be released later this month. Wonder what features it will have…— Mr. No Days Off.
The iPhone 5 better be cool as shit.. I’m talkin bigger screen/improved resolution, better Siri, Fleshlight attachment.. The works!!— Dr. Drankenstein
@NicholasGazin @tommyrocket other desired iPhone 5 features: Fleshlight attachment, little pop out robo legs, buttons that make it cuss.— Nicholas Gazin
Rumor has it that the iPhone 5 has a new feature that doubles as a fleshlight. Any truth to this?— Spencer ritt
#iPhone5Features I heard thereâ€™s going to be facefuck integration. Finally, a use for the rear-facing camera.— Jordan Cooper
Some people want a more emotional connection.
Gently caresses you and assures you that the universe is not indifferent to your crippling loneliness. Also, new camera. #iPhone5Features— A.S. Paul
#iPhone5Features Siri tucks your hair behind your ear, making you feel held without actually holding you— Drew Koshgarian
Others want to make sure their iPhone is satisfied.
If you lick Siri till she climaxes, sheâ€™ll let you change font size in Mail. (Achievement unlocked!!) #iPhone5Features— Ê‡sÄ±nbÉÇSÇÊŒÇÊ‡S
I feel bad that Siri has to deal with this.
#iPhone5Features siri will be able to have phone sex with you— INKEDâ„¢
#iPhone5Features You can have sex with Siri now.— Sean-Paulâ„¢
#iPhone5Features Siri will have phone sex with you in a Russian accent.— Mike Helinger
Siri talks dirty to you #iphone5features— Molly
#Siri…. you’ll be a woman soon #iPhone5features— Micaiah Von Walter
RT @michaelkosta: Siri sucks your dick and let’s you cum all over her face. #iPhone5Features— Jonathan Bouvet
But in the end, it boils down to the same thing.
I wish I could fuck my iPhone.— BaconHuffer
- ISIS has claimed responsibility for a bombing that killed at least 80 people in Afghanistan Saturday.
- Hillary Clinton made her debut with VP pick Tim Kaine, who dipped into Spanish and spoke on support for immigration reform and gun control.
- The gunman who killed at least 10 people at a Munich, Germany mall was an 18-year-old "obsessed" with mass shootings, police said.