Hillary Clinton, on Sunday, visited Junior's Cheesecake in Brooklyn — Home of the World's Most Fabulous Cheesecake.
Three fabulous cheesecakes were presented to her — original, strawberry, and pineapple.
She looked at them. They called to her, luscious, resplendent, and creamy AF.
But Clinton knew only too well what happens when food is put before a presidential contender.
"So I'm just sitting here pining. Pining for a bite," she said, trying to make light of the situation. Those gooey fuckers just sat there, waiting for her to succumb to temptation.
She looked at the cheesecake again, looking ready to grab that fork and stab it through its creamy heart.
She could have her cake, but she couldn't eat it.
People waited with their cameras for the moment Clinton would give in.
But she stayed strong.
"YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME!" —Clinton to cheesecake, probably.
Must. 😥 Not. 😥 Eat. 😥 Cheesecake. 😥
"I love you, but we cannot be together."
"When this shitshow is over, I want those three in a doggie bag." —Clinton to this unsuspecting congressman, probably.
Tasneem Nashrulla is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Tasneem Nashrulla at email@example.com.
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