"Hooray! We did it, huh?"
But the Russian leader can't help but notice that there is worry in the American people.
On Saturday, hundreds of thousands went into the streets in protest, he notes.
"Relax. I got this. Putey is going to make everything OK."
After all, several Russians were skeptical when Putin himself took the office in Russia.
He too had his critics.
But no more.
"It's like they're gone."
If you still have any doubts, here is a Russian woman who is completely happy, and definitely not here against her will. Eeeek.
Still, it has been only one day in office and there are already massive protests on the streets of the country.
"You're not off to a great start, man," Putin tells Trump. "I thought you'd be better at this."
There are some good points, though.
Just look at how many people showed up at the inauguration.
"Oh, wait, that's the Women's March."
Here's the inauguration crowd.
Despite the crowds, Putin points out that on Saturday Trump and his spokesman claimed to have a huge crowd in DC.
"Today you went to the CIA and said 1 million people came to see you in DC?" Putin asks.
Look, take some advice from someone who knows.
"Say that you are friends with Lebron James, not that you are Lebron James."
Salvador Hernandez is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Los Angeles.
Contact Salvador Hernandez at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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