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Here's How Differently A Couple Texts Before And After Getting Married

Apparently, you stop writing "love" and start writing "ok" a lot more often.

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"On our one year anniversary, his gift to me was a Word doc of all of our text messages since our first date," she wrote. "What I considered to be the most thoughtful gift ever (given that we are both nerds).


She also pored through the texts looking for individual phrases and the frequency of certain words. "Love" has decreased in frequency, but the words "home" and "dinner" have stayed pretty consistent.

Zhao clarifies that while the data make looka little grim to die-hard romantics, the lack of cute things being texted back is because she and her husband live together and now just say nice things to each other in person.

We'd often message the other person to see what they were doing or tell them that we were thinking of them. As a married couple, since we're together all the time, we set up date nights and say sweet things to each other in person, so texting is mostly used to confirm logistics or share random thoughts.

"I've learned that you can’t judge a relationship by its text messages," Zhao said. "Text messages and Facebook posts are only part of a relationship. The interactions that happen in person matter so much more."

Ryan Broderick is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.

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