Politics

Why Hillary Clinton Doesn’t Sweat

Ever. “I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago.”

You can’t tell from the picture — but this was a 90 degree-plus day. Darren Mccollester / Getty Images

It is a well-documented, improbable piece of Clinton trivia. It’s been been repeated in articles and books, and confirmed by friends and staffers. In the summer months — inside the unique hotbox that is a New Hampshire gymnasium, under the baking sun that afflicts the Iowa State Fair — reporters have seen it with their own eyes.

Hillary Clinton literally does not sweat.

In an interview with the BuzzFeed podcast, Another Round — after touching on such topics as sexism in Washington, the Black Lives Matter movement, and the scrutiny of the campaign trail — Clinton explained her no-sweat condition.

… which then brought the conversation around to a second, more pressing question — one that Washington’s very best political thinkers have asked for decades.

Who is the “real Hillary”?

The answer is exactly what they’ve long suspected.

Read on, or listen below:

ANOTHER ROUND: In preparation for this interview, I watched a lot of your interviews, and I noticed you never sweat, like physically. I’ve done like a little bit of press and I get so hot — TV lights, stage lights.

ANOTHER ROUND: I’m sweating now and I’m sitting still.

ANOTHER ROUND: What is your deodorant situation?

HILLARY CLINTON: Well, first of all, you’ve only done a little bit. When you’ve done as much as I have —

ANOTHER ROUND: But like, what is your secret?

HILLARY CLINTON: My secret is just you do it so often. You didn’t see me 40 years ago when I did my first ones. Right?

ANOTHER ROUND: I don’t mean sweat because you’re nervous. I just mean physically. I’m genuinely curious what your deodorant is.

HILLARY CLINTON: You know, I just turned off the thermostat. [Clinton glances at the wall.] No, no, I don’t know.

ANOTHER ROUND: Do you have a spray situation. Is it a liquid? I’m not joking.

HILLARY CLINTON: Solid. Solid block. I like the solid. Solid block is much better.

ANOTHER ROUND: OK. This is an odd question that I lobbied for a lot because it’s one of my favorite questions to ask people. If you don’t have an answer, that’s fine, but I will be a little sad. What’s the weirdest thing about you?

HILLARY CLINTON: The weirdest thing about me is that I don’t sweat.

ANOTHER ROUND: Obviously. Best argument for Hillary as a robot: zero sweat.

HILLARY CLINTON: You guys are the first to realize that I’m really not even a human being. I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago. People think that, you know, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it. Oh no. I mean, a man whose name shall remain nameless created me in his garage.

ANOTHER ROUND: Are there more of you?

HILLARY CLINTON: I thought he threw away the plans, at least that’s what he told me when he programmed me — that there would be no more. I’ve seen more people that kind of don’t sweat, and other things, that make me think maybe they are part of the new race that he created: the robot race.

ANOTHER ROUND: So there’s a cyborg army is what you’re saying.

HILLARY CLINTON: But you have to cut this, you can’t tell anybody this. I don’t want anybody to know this. This has been a secret until here we are in Davenport, Iowa, and I’m just spillin’ my electronic guts to you.

ANOTHER ROUND: And without bourbon.

HILLARY CLINTON: Without any bourbon. Yeah. That’s why I have to wait ‘til the end of the day.

Listen to the Another Round interview with Hillary Clinton and subscribe on iTunes to Another Round.

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Ruby Cramer is a political reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Ruby Cramer at ruby.cramer@buzzfeed.com.
 
 

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