It's common knowledge that Russia gets really cold in the winter — in parts of the country, it plunges down to -50 Celsius. -30 Celsius isn't even a big deal. So there are things you learn to survive.
1. Top of the list: Hats and hoods are important. Most of your heat escapes through your head. This is truth. Cover your head.
2. Layering is also important. Shirts under sweaters. Tights under jeans. Do it.
3. What also helps is vodka.
4. Vodka is also helpful.
5. Who needs a shirt, have some vodka.
6. Wanna feel positively tropical? Have some vodka.
7. Need to go outside? Have a shot of vodka.
8. Is it ten thousand degrees below freezing? I hope we have vodka.
9. So cold it feels like a billion tiny knives are stabbing at your hands and feet? I'll go get the vodka.
10. Does it hurt to breathe outside? Add some vodka.
11. So cold you can't remember what the sun's warm rays feel like? Have some vodka.
12. Are you there, vodka? It's me, Margaret.
13. Has the cold driven through your layers and into the depths of your soul? Vodka.
14. Give me vodka.
15. Just remember that drinking excessively while cold can lead to horrible — and deadly — results. Don't wind up like these Russians.
It's cold. Be careful out there.
Miriam Elder is the world editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York. Her secure PGP fingerprint is 5B5F EC17 C20B C11F 226D 3EBE 6205 F92F AC14 DCB1
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