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Which Vladimir Putin Are You?

"Who is Mr. Putin?" You are Mr. Putin!

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  1. More vodka
    More vodka
    Pickles
    Pickles
    Processed smoked cheese
    Processed smoked cheese
    Herring
    Herring
    Dill
    Dill
    Black bread
    Black bread
  2. Horse
    Gilles Bouquillon / Getty Images
    Horse
    Gilles Bouquillon / Getty Images
    Sturgeon
    MIKHAIL KLEMENTYEV/AFP / Getty Images
    Sturgeon
    MIKHAIL KLEMENTYEV/AFP / Getty Images
    Calf
    VLADIMIR RODIONOV/AFP / Getty Images
    Calf
    VLADIMIR RODIONOV/AFP / Getty Images
    Tiger
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Tiger
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Dog
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Dog
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Walrus
    ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Walrus
    ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
  3. Oil from the Arctic Sea
    Reuters/Denis Sinyakov/Greenpeae
    Oil from the Arctic Sea
    Reuters/Denis Sinyakov/Greenpeae
    Shale gas from Poland
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Shale gas from Poland
    Diamonds from Yakutia
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Diamonds from Yakutia
    Potash from the Ural Mountains
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Potash from the Ural Mountains
    Natural gas from the Yamal Peninsula
    Reuters/Alexander Demianichuk
    Natural gas from the Yamal Peninsula
    Reuters/Alexander Demianichuk
    Aluminum from Krasnoyarsk
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Aluminum from Krasnoyarsk
  4. Swimming
    AFP / Getty Images
    Swimming
    AFP / Getty Images
    Fishing
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Fishing
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Long walks alone
    Michael Klimentyev/AFP / Getty Images
    Long walks alone
    Michael Klimentyev/AFP / Getty Images
    Hockey
    ALEXEY NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Hockey
    ALEXEY NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Judo
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Judo
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Badminton
    DMITRY ASTAKHOV/AFP / Getty Images
    Badminton
    DMITRY ASTAKHOV/AFP / Getty Images
  5. Steven Seagal
    ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Steven Seagal
    ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Silvio Berlusconi
    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images
    Silvio Berlusconi
    Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images
    Bashar al-Assad
    JOSEPH EID/AFP / Getty Images
    Bashar al-Assad
    JOSEPH EID/AFP / Getty Images
    Gerard Depardieu
    AP Photo/Musa Sadulayev
    Gerard Depardieu
    AP Photo/Musa Sadulayev
    Hugo Chávez
    AP Photo/Mikhail Metzel
    Hugo Chávez
    AP Photo/Mikhail Metzel
    Gennady Timchenko
    Alexander Demianchuk / Reuters
    Gennady Timchenko
    Alexander Demianchuk / Reuters
  6. "He turned out to be a really powerful dude! He raped ten women! I never expected that from him! He surprised us all! We all envy him!"
    "We, Russia, are constantly being taught about democracy. But for some reason those who teach us do not want to learn themselves."
    "If you want to become an Islamic radical and get circumcised, I invite you to come to Moscow. Our nation is multi-confessional, we have experts in the field. I would recommend that he who does the surgery does it so that nothing grows back afterwards."
    "[Gay people] can feel relaxed and calm [in Sochi], but leave children alone, please."
    "The battle for Russia continues. Victory will be ours!"
    "I'm endlessly grateful to fate and the citizens of Russia for trusting me with being the head of the Russian state. That's my whole life. But is that enough for happiness? I don't know."
  7. Peter the Great
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Peter the Great
    Mikhail Gorbachev
    Via upload.wikimedia.org
    Mikhail Gorbachev
    Boris Yeltsin
    DIMA TANIN/AFP / Getty Images
    Boris Yeltsin
    DIMA TANIN/AFP / Getty Images
  8. Vladimir Yakunin
    Alexander Natruskin / Reuters
    Vladimir Yakunin
    Alexander Natruskin / Reuters
    Boris Berezovsky
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Boris Berezovsky
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Mikhail Khodorkovsky
    Sean Gallup / Getty Images
    Mikhail Khodorkovsky
    Sean Gallup / Getty Images
    Arkady Rotenberg
    Sasha Mordovets / Getty Images
    Arkady Rotenberg
    Sasha Mordovets / Getty Images
    Mikhail Prokhorov
    Jim McIsaac / Getty Images
    Mikhail Prokhorov
    Jim McIsaac / Getty Images
    Roman Abramovich
    Richard Heathcote / Getty Images
    Roman Abramovich
    Richard Heathcote / Getty Images
  9. Angela Merkel
    Adam Berry / Getty Images
    Angela Merkel
    Adam Berry / Getty Images
    Alla Pugacheva
    Anton Belitsky/Epsilon / Getty Images
    Alla Pugacheva
    Anton Belitsky/Epsilon / Getty Images
    Alina Kabaeva
    GIUSEPPE CACACE/AFP / Getty Images
    Alina Kabaeva
    GIUSEPPE CACACE/AFP / Getty Images
    Lyudmila Putina
    Sasha Mordovets / Getty Images
    Lyudmila Putina
    Sasha Mordovets / Getty Images
    Nadya and Masha from Pussy Riot
    DON EMMERT/AFP / Getty Images
    Nadya and Masha from Pussy Riot
    DON EMMERT/AFP / Getty Images
    Topless Ukrainian protester Alexandra Shevchenko
    Jochen Lübke/AFP / Getty Images
    Topless Ukrainian protester Alexandra Shevchenko
    Jochen Lübke/AFP / Getty Images
  10. Motorcycle
    ALEXANDER ZEMLIANICHENKO/AFP / Getty Images
    Motorcycle
    ALEXANDER ZEMLIANICHENKO/AFP / Getty Images
    Bus
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Bus
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Lada
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Lada
    ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
    Race car
    ALEXEY NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Race car
    ALEXEY NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
    Helicopter
    DMITRI ASTAKHOV/AFP / Getty Images
    Helicopter
    DMITRI ASTAKHOV/AFP / Getty Images
    Hangglider
    Alexsey Druginyn/AFP / GettyImages
    Hangglider
    Alexsey Druginyn/AFP / GettyImages
  11. "Long live Russia! Long live Putin! Long live the Olympics! Allah Akbar!"
    "Do you remember our meeting in May? After that, my personal life got sorted out and I finally got married. Not to you, don’t misunderstand me. My love for you is purely platonic."
    “I looked into Mr. Putin’s eyes and I saw three things — a K and a G and a B.”
    “I have always been strongly attracted by the Russian temperament, because I myself also feel very, very much Russian. I adore Vladimir Putin, your president.”
    "He thinks he'll be around forever. He asked me why I didn't change the Constitution so I could run again."
    "I know the press likes to focus on body language, and he's got that kind of slouch, looking like the bored kid in the back of the classroom."
  12. Pope Francis (45 minutes)
    Vatican Pool / Getty Images
    Pope Francis (45 minutes)
    Vatican Pool / Getty Images
    U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry (3 hours)
    United States Department of State
    U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry (3 hours)
    United States Department of State
    Parents of children killed in an air crash in 2002 (2 hours)
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Parents of children killed in an air crash in 2002 (2 hours)
    Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
    Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych (4 hours)
    MIKHAIL KLIMENTYEV/AFP / GettyImages
    Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych (4 hours)
    MIKHAIL KLIMENTYEV/AFP / GettyImages
    Queen Elizabeth (13 minutes)
    Anwar Hussein / WireImage
    Queen Elizabeth (13 minutes)
    Anwar Hussein / WireImage
    The entire upper echelons of Israel's government (2 hours)
    Moshe Milner/GPO via Getty Images
    The entire upper echelons of Israel's government (2 hours)
    Moshe Milner/GPO via Getty Images

Which Vladimir Putin Are You?

You got: Shirtless Putin

Rugged, outdoorsy, and smoldering in shades, you're not scared to flaunt your assets in front of the whole world. If Russia ratified the Rome Statute, the International Criminal Court'd have to try you for looking this good. And - ladies, take note - you're newly single, too! Glory to Russia!

Shirtless Putin
ALEXEY DRUZHININ/AFP / Getty Images
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You got: Warrior Putin

You came to power vowing to "wipe [terrorists] out in the shithouse," and you've never looked back since. Islamic insurgents across the Caucasus squeal when they hear your name. And one steely stare from you is all it takes to scare NATO off moving its missile shields a step closer to your borders. Glory to Russia!

Warrior Putin
Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images
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You got: Patriotic Putin

You're an island of morality standing steadfast against the sodomy and sedition thrown at you by the pernicious West. Russians look to you to defend their traditional values against your many enemies at home and abroad. They can criticize you all they want, but don't let it get to you - you're the one who rose your nation up from its knees. Glory to Russia!

Patriotic Putin
Sasha Mordovets / Getty Images
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You got: Sad Putin

It's lonely at the top. With 14 years already under your belt and perhaps another ten still to go, nobody understands that better than you. Newly divorced, you're not afraid to share your feelings with your people or show your sensitive side. Glory to Russia!

Sad Putin
NATALIA KOLESNIKOVA/AFP / Getty Images
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You got: Sports Putin

You're not just in the best shape of your life at 61 - you're a one-man Olympic team, putting other world leaders to shame with your mastery of every event. If Russia doesn't win all the medals it should at Sochi, that'll be because you weren't competing. It just wouldn't be fair. Glory to Russia!

Sports Putin
ALEXEI NIKOLSKY/AFP / Getty Images
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You got: Diplomatic Putin

Your pole stands tall and unwavering to meet the challenges of today's multi-polar world. Diplomatic triumphs over Syria and Iran have seen you hailed as the world's greatest statesman. And if people don't like that, your Security Council veto will tell them where to stick it. Glory to Russia!

Diplomatic Putin
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With apologies to Fiona Hill and Clifford Gaddy of the Brookings Institution, whose book Mr. Putin: Operative in the Kremlin inspired this quiz.

Max Seddon is a correspondent for BuzzFeed World based in Berlin. He has reported from Russia, Ukraine, Azerbaijan and across the ex-Soviet Union and Europe. His secure PGP fingerprint is 6642 80FB 4059 E3F7 BEBE 94A5 242A E424 92E0 7B71

Contact Max Seddon at max.seddon@buzzfeed.com.

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