2. Perhaps you’ve just realized you have LITERALLY ZERO idea of how to play a real CD anymore.
3. What even IS that weird slot in my car for? What is this ancient “stereo” my parents have?
4. Don’t worry kids. As an extremely elderly person (age 34) I am an expert in playing compact discs. I will teach you.
5. First of all, you will notice there is a plastic covering around the disc.
6. This is notoriously difficult to remove, but don’t give up. Adele is waiting for you.
7. Like, it’s really fucking hard to scratch open. But I believe in you.
8. Once you get that top bit scratched off, take the rest of the wrapper off.
9. But you’re not done yet. You’ve got to get that barcode sticker across the top off too.
10. You’re going to need some nails for this. I bet Adele would be great at it – she has those long pointy nails.
12. The sticker NEVER comes off cleanly. You can leave that little last sticker on if you’re a slob, but I, a grown up person, recommend getting it all the way off.
13. Toss away the packaging.
14. You’ll notice something weird inside the CD case: a little paper booklet you can slide out from the plastic.
15. These are called “liner notes”. They often have photos, song lyrics, or album credits. Adele’s doesn’t have lyrics. That is the artist’s choice.
16. Here are the credits.
17. Great! Now you can play it on your computer, right?
18. Not so fast! Turns out your laptop doesn’t have a disc drive anymore.
19. Now go to your CD player and turn the power button “ON”.
20. Make sure you’re on the “CD” function, not Tape or Radio.
21. There will usually be an area on the lid where you lightly push and it automatically opens.
22. Place the CD so the hole fits perfectly on the nubbin without wobbling.
23. Protip: Do NOT put it in shiny side up.
24. Close the lid all the way until it locks shut.
25. Now hit the button that looks like >||. (These symbols are interpreted to mean “play” and “pause”).
27. Now. Let’s say you have THIS kind of CD player, with a tray. First, make sure it’s on the CD “function”.
28. Press the open/eject button to open up the tray.
29. Place the CD on the tray.
30. Hit the open/eject button again to close the tray.
31. Hit the “play” button.
33. BUT WAIT. What if you want to play it on your car stereo?
34. Put the CD right up to the weird little slot in your stereo.
35. Gently push it into the slot. About halfway through, it will sort of suck it in itself.
36. And ENJOY!!!!!!
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