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What Type Of Gchatter Are You?

A quiz to determine how good your Gchat game really is.

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  1. 1. Your circle is almost always ...

  2. 2. Let's say your circle happens to be green. How long does it typically take you to respond to a Gchat?

    How long does it take to blink?
    Maybe thirty seconds up to a few minutes.
    Ten or twenty minutes, maybe more if I'm busy.
    It depends on who sent it!
  3. 3. On a slow workday, how many Gchat boxes do you typically have going at once?

    More than four.
    1-2, but they're very involved.
    Sometimes I'll have one going, but it kind of waxes and wanes.
  4. 4. How would you measure the amount of time it takes you to Gchat someone new when they first appear on your chat list?

  5. 5. What is the most advanced Gchat emoticon that you know?

    The crab's pincers.
    The robot.
    The vaguely disappointed/embarrassed slanty face.
    The smiley face.
  6. 6. How long did it take you to find about bolding and italicizing?

    Bolding, a few days. Italicizing, just a little longer.
    A few months each.
    You can italicize?
    You can BOLD??
  7. 7. How do you proceed when you notice that a Gchat buddy has her red busy signal on?

    Proceed as normal. You two have an arrangement — that busy signal isn't for YOU, it's for everyone else.
    Send her a quick chat to let her know you're around to chat later, when she isn't busy.
    Wait for her to Gchat you, and continue cautiously until that red dot comes down.
    Leave her alone.
  8. 8. If your Gchat friends were presented with an unlabeled excerpt of one of your Gchat monologues, how quickly would they be able to identify you as the chatter?

    Mere moments. You have a definitive chatting style.
    A minute or two at most. They'll it when they see the way the laughter is typed.
    Five minutes or so, but it seems like it was a lucky guess.
    Probably never. It's mostly a series of "ok"s.
  9. 9. How much could a private investigator learn about you from your Gchat history?

    Everything. Too much. More than any one person should ever know about another. More than you want to know about yourself, even.
    A decent outline: who your friends are, whom you hold work grudges against, who you have a crush on.
    Your reserved opinion of your work friend’s new boyfriend.
    The fact that you favor "yea" over "yeah."
  10. 10. How deep does this thing go?

    You've (on a number of occasions) gone one into your Gchat archives as a reference/to prove that you really did say that.
    Copy/pasted someone else's words into your Gchat with another person.
    Copy/pasted your own words into someone else's Gchat window.
    You tried Group Gchatting once, but didn't really get it.

What Type Of Gchatter Are You?

You got: You Are A Gchat Genius

Or maniac! Maybe the right word is actually "maniac." You are the type of person who, on Sunday evenings, starts to look forward to Mondays, because of Gchat. Your Gchatting style is more central to your identity than your fingerprint. On Gchat you are both a charming storyteller and a great listener. Gchat is (if we're being kind) a third of your social life, and while that's not the worst thing in the world, you could afford to go outside once in a while.

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You got: You Are a Gchat Graduate

You've got the basics mastered and are gaining more expertise each day. People like talking to you on Gchat because you're fun and laid-back — in fact, your approach leaves an air of mystery hanging over your chat windows that leaves most people you talk to wanting more. No, really: why haven't you responded yet?? Ahhhh, haha, it's fine, you're just so INTERESTING.

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You got: You Are A Gchat Greenhorn

You're just enough into Gchat that it makes everyone you half-assedly talk to think you're holding back only with them while holding full and fabulously entertaining conversations with everyone else. Get in or get out! This is not a game! This is the future!

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You got: You Are A Gchat Goon

What are you even doing here? Did you sign on by accident again? Either you're not into this at all or you have some explaining to do. Look up some basic internet slang. Start conversations only when you're prepared to put aside at least half your day's work for them. Dig in those heels.

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Senior Editor, Ghost Hunter, Ufologist

Contact Katie Heaney at

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