Facebook’s new messages are rolling out to everybody now. They’re nice, for the most part. But one thing you’ll notice right away is that it’s very easy to scroll down to your oldest messages:
2. Oh hello, eight years ago!
Then you’ll notice that some of the messages are bizarre, unlike you, and often absolutely mortifying. It was 2004, 5, or 6! We were younger! We didn’t know how Facebook worked yet. Mainly we were — oh, you’ll see — just so, so embarrassing.
4. Here are a few to get us started, from the BuzzFeed staff:
5. An old friend who hadn’t quite figured out what Facebook was for:
6. Facebook speak, 2005:
7. A perfectly preserved early awkward Facebook specimen:
8. The was no fact checking on old Facebook:
9. The “IT” was a Facebook friend request sent to a crush:
10. A pioneer of Facebook creeping, circa 2005:
11. Closed accounts are ominously renamed “Facebook User”
12. Proto-oversharing jokes:
[Redacted], [Redacted], [Redacted] and I all want you to know that we are ashamed of
your facebook picture. We can’t believe you would set such a bad example for
us. We also want you to know that even though none of us has ever drank
before, we’re going to start now because of your poor leadership. And if
we’re in AA in the next 10 years, we’ll know who to blame.
13. References that haven’t aged so well:
14. OK, now add yours.
Warning: this game will make you feel sick to your stomach.
- President Obama commuted the federal sentences of 111 prisoners, nearing a total of 700 over the course of his presidency.
- BuzzFeed News exposes a secretive legal system that allows corporations to intimidate entire countries with one threat.
- And Apple has to repay up to €13 billion ($14.5 billion) in illegal tax benefits to Ireland, the European Commission has ruled.