1. This lady was pretty confident she knew what was up.
2. And her friend wanted to encapsulate the sloth-y slowness.
3. This cutie had some big ideas about sloths but was a lil shy on the mic.
4. This lady thinks that sloths sound like they’re eating spaghetti:
5. This guy believes that sloths just crawl around almost saying their own name:
6. This lady was not buying that sloths even make sounds at all.
(She says she’s a lawyer, so maybe she didn’t want the powerful sloth lobby coming after her for misrepresentation.)
7. And this lil guy had some pretty strong opinions:
8. The gargling theory:
9. The…uh…grunting theory:
10. And this guy thinks there’s a chirping thing going on:
11. Maybe a sloth sounds like that thing that sucks the spit out of your mouth at the dentist?
12. And this guy believes sloths are unimpressed and speak perfect English:
13. This lady believes the world is powered by sloth snortles:
14. And this guy’s theory involves snortle-squeaks:
15. This girl perfectly encapsulated the slothy pace of a sloth sound.
16. While her brother took a more *meepy* tone:
17. Meanwhile their mom went the way of an owl/monkey combo.
18. But dad really went all out:
19. Nothing was quite as perfect as this family’s symphony, though:
And the truth, for which all humans and sloths are eternally searching for? It’s right here:
- The Trump administration is rolling back an Obama-era policy aimed at protecting transgender students in public schools.
- North Dakota police have begun clearing out Standing Rock protester camps at the Dakota Access Pipeline site.
- Seven Earth-sized planets that could have water and possibly sustain life have been discovered orbiting a dwarf star, NASA announced today.
- #Peggygate: West Elm is offering full refunds for the notoriously disintegrating Peggy Couch days after pulling it from its website and stores👏