Bro, remember Turtles in Time?
Oh yeah Bro! That one with the underwater level?
Hahah no way Bro! The SNES one! The one that's like, uh, Streets of Rage and Final Fight!
Oh, yeah, I sort of remember that one. Why was it so awesome though?
***Sucks powerfully on a giant spliff***
Well first of all Bro, it jumps off in the most epic way possible. Like, *Encylopedia Voice*:
"It begins with the Turtles watching a TV newscast on a Sunday evening, with April O'Neil reporting from Liberty Island. Suddenly, Krang flies in using a giant exosuit (seen occasionally in the animated series) and steals the Statue of Liberty, moments before Shredder hijacks the airwaves to laugh at the Turtles."
Hahaha *cough cough* NO WAY Bro!
For real Bro! Like, look!
Yeah Bro! And then like, Shredder shows up and totally dogs the Turtles.
And like, shoots laser balls at Raphael and tries to claw him!
DUDE Shredder is so un-chill! Raphael has the sickest attitude of all the Turtles. Also where's the pizza—
Hahaha DUDE I know Bro. So then like the boys pursue Krang and the Shred throughout TIME!
Oh word DOG! I remember that like, the Foot Clan shows up with some really un-chill Ptera... ptero... pteradac....
See Bro you totally remember Turtles in Time! How, like, you fight Bebop and Rocksteady on a Pirate ship?
Ohhh yeah! Yeah! I'm starting to remember more of those sick jokes!
LOL for sure. Also like, speaking of shells, remember how you ride one in the future?
It's all coming back to me now Broseph! The final boss fight against Super Shredder!
Yeah Bromeister. And then when you beat him, Splinter is all, "now you are true ninja's."
Totally bro. You know what? Thanks for reminding me. Turtles in Time was fucking awesome.
Joe Bernstein is a senior technology reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Joseph Bernstein at email@example.com.
Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.