7. Yes, Russian President Vladimir Putin is really Lisa Gherardini, the wife of Florintine noble Francesco del Giocondo, in disguise. Or Putin traveled back in time to pose for Da Vinci. One of these things is probably true. Probably.
9. Because look here. Vladimir Putin was also a Greek general.
10. And the subject of several paintings by Dutch painter Jan van Eyck.
11. He’s even found in the works of MC Escher.
12. So Putin is clearly either a time-traveling 16th century nobleman’s wife, a 19th century Greek general, or an 18th century Dutch model. Believe us, dear reader, when we say we will be ~investigating~ this deeply.
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