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Politics

What Kind Of Conservative Are You?

This scientific quiz is the only way to be sure. Just in time for CPAC!

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  1. 1. What type of Liberal annoys you the most?

    Economic Justice Liberal
    Via theatlantic.com
    Economic Justice Liberal
    Philanthropic Socialist Liberal
    Via openeuropeblog.blogspot.com
    Philanthropic Socialist Liberal
    Tax and Spend Liberal
    Via limonwhitaker.com
    Tax and Spend Liberal
    Peace-nic Hippie Liberal
    Via dirtyhippieradio.com
    Peace-nic Hippie Liberal
    Blue Dog Liberal
    Via newrepublic.com
    Blue Dog Liberal
  2. 2. Who has done the most for modern Conservatism?

    Bill Buckley
    Getty Images
    Bill Buckley
    Getty Images
    Ayn Rand
    AP
    Ayn Rand
    AP
    George Bush
    Via comicbox.com
    George Bush
    Michael Moore
    Reuters
    Michael Moore
    Reuters
  3. 3. Which news personality do you think is the most brilliant?

  4. 4. Which policy proposal has made you most happy?

    The Bush Tax Cuts
    gurugilbert.com
    The Bush Tax Cuts
    Toppling of Saddam's murderous regime
    AP
    Toppling of Saddam's murderous regime
    AP
    The steady decriminalization of marijuana
    The steady decriminalization of marijuana
    The Repeal of Obamacare
    The Repeal of Obamacare
    Passage of Obamacare
    Passage of Obamacare
  5. 5. What hippie talking point do you hate the most?

    Via bornagainhippies.blogspot.com
    "The government needs to stop imperialism and war!"
    Via bornagainhippies.blogspot.com
    "Society needs to fight for economic equality for everyone!"
    Via bornagainhippies.blogspot.com
    "The Constitution is a really old document, written by slave owners. We're past that, man!"
    AP
    "All the young people agree with us, capitalism is wage slavery."
    AP
    Via bornagainhippies.blogspot.com
    "Liberals protect individual freedom the most."
    Via bornagainhippies.blogspot.com
    "...um, actually all of these sound pretty good."
  6. 6. At political events, you look like:

  7. 7. Which Avenger do you most identify with?

  8. 8. Who should be our president in 2016?

  9. 9. What should America do if attacked?

    Unleash the full skull-crushing awesomeness of the U.S. Military
    Unleash the full skull-crushing awesomeness of the U.S. Military
    Lock down borders and increase security for homeland America
    AP
    Lock down borders and increase security for homeland America
    AP
    Lob a few of these 5,000-pound bombs over there to shake things up a bit
    AP
    Lob a few of these 5,000-pound bombs over there to shake things up a bit
    AP
    Find out who attacked us and drop Chuck Norris on them from a Black Hawk
    Via knowyourmeme.com
    Find out who attacked us and drop Chuck Norris on them from a Black Hawk
    Engage in tough diplomatic negotiations and sanctions
    Getty Images
    Engage in tough diplomatic negotiations and sanctions
    Getty Images
  10. 10. What Obama action makes you want to gouge your eyes out the most?

    Bowing to foreign leaders
    AP
    Bowing to foreign leaders
    AP
    Tanking the economy with over-regulation
    Tanking the economy with over-regulation
    Trampling on our Constitutional Rights!
    Via pearlsofprofundity.wordpress.com
    Trampling on our Constitutional Rights!
    Reckless use of drones
    Getty Images
    Reckless use of drones
    Getty Images
    Holding hands with Joe Biden
    AP
    Holding hands with Joe Biden
    AP
    Showering big business with bailout taxpayer cash
    Via redalertpolitics.com
    Showering big business with bailout taxpayer cash
  11. 11. What is your favorite pastime?

    Jager Bombs
    Via sodahead.com
    Jager Bombs
    Yelling at your friends about how amazing this is:
    Via coverspy.tumblr.com
    Yelling at your friends about how amazing this is:
    Scotch and cigars
    Via whitmannyc.com
    Scotch and cigars
    Reading the Constitution aloud
    Via reasonradionetwork.com
    Reading the Constitution aloud
    Walking around your yard like this
    Via knowyourmeme.com
    Walking around your yard like this
    Crying about war, injustice, the environment, and poverty
    Via 1000awesomethings.com
    Crying about war, injustice, the environment, and poverty
  12. 12. Which Conservative fictional character would you most like to be?

    Schmidt from
    Schmidt from "New Girl"
    None of them, I want to be Barbra Streisand
    Via people.com
    None of them, I want to be Barbra Streisand

What Kind Of Conservative Are You?

You got: Conservative Bro!

You just like to drink and rage with your friends. You're attracted to a conservative ideology because it allows fewer rules and regulations. You will be successful in life simply because you're awesome. Most likely to become a libertarian after college. U mad Bro?

Conservative Bro!
Via forums.watchuseek.com
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You got: Kicking Ass Conservative!

America First! You love this country and perhaps served in the Armed Forces. There is nothing more important than a strong national defense and when people mess with America they should expect a Holy ass whipping.

Kicking Ass Conservative!
Via cyrilhuzeblog.com
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You got: Old-School, Traditionalist Conservative

You love conservatism the way John Locke loved property rights. America is the head of Western Civilization due to robust social and economic traditions and principles. Russell Kirk, Edmund Burke and William F. Buckley Jr. are heroes.

Old-School, Traditionalist Conservative
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You got: Overthrow the Government Tea Party Conservative

You just hate the waste and overspending in government. If we liquidated congress and started over with a crop of constitutional conservatives everything would get better almost immediately. You cannot trust Washington DC or their absurd taxes on regular middle-class hardworking Americans. The Constitution is the greatest document ever conceived and it's our job to protect it.

Overthrow the Government Tea Party Conservative
Twitter: @SarahPalinUSA
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You got: LIBERAL!

Damn you! Quit turning America into a marxist paradise. Go back to Canada or France and pay your 75% income tax.

LIBERAL!
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You got: Whoa, you're a Libertarian!

Yeah, you knew what you were doing. You're not technically a "conservative" but let's be honest, who do you trust most with your civil liberties? Individual liberty, political freedom, and voluntary association for all, down with the state!

Whoa, you're a Libertarian!
Via commons.wikimedia.org
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Contact Benny Johnson at benny.johnson+DONE@buzzfeed.com.

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