Meet Rep. Howard Coble. Oh, you have never heard of him? Get your learning hat on.
He is 82 and 7 million times more badass than your member of Congress. Here is why.
1. He was a captain in the military and served in the Korean War.
Meaning he was an inspiration for movies like this. He served a full 18 years in the military.
2. He's been wearing suits made out of picnic blankets in Congress longer than you've been alive.
3. He holds moonshine like a man who knows war and love.
4. And these boys should have earned Eagle Scout rank just for meeting him.
5. Coble knows the only way to pose with a classic car is with a red Solo cup.
6. He has a DIRECTOR'S CHAIR in his office with his NAME ON IT.
And he has NO MORE ROOM on his office walls because they are filled with awards and paintings of old wooden ships.
7. He won a badass hat contest against Richard Petty.
8. He went on an ice cream factory tour.
9. He threw out the first pitch at this baseball game.
The ball broke the catcher's hand.