15 Times Period Sex Went Really Wrong, Really Fast
What a damn bloody mess.
Heads up, periods are totally normal and natural and not gross at all, but sure, they can sometimes be ~inconvenient~.
1. The messy morning:
"When we were 16, my ex and I had sex then passed out in his bed. It wasn't a big deal... until morning, when we realized that I got my period. There was dried blood on his face and hands, which wasn't too bad — until his mom came in and freaked out at all the blood. I was mortified, and we all just stood there until I blurted out that he got a nosebleed while he was sleeping. She fell for it."
2. The astonishing aftermath:
"My partner and I went to a party in the woods. The shindig got boring, so we decided to go back to the car and ~entertain~ ourselves. Unbeknownst to me, my period had come, so in the morning we awoke to windows smeared in blood, blood-soaked clothes, and puddles on the seats. It was truly messier than the Red Wedding."
3. The bloody balcony:
"We went out drinking for our last night in Thailand. When we got back to our hotel, we wanted one last frisky session to cap off the trip. We started having sex, and soon we realized there was blood everywhere. In a drunken panic, I took the sheets to the bathroom to fix the mess. I thought I'd done a great job, so I set the sheets on the balcony to dry. The next morning, I learned that I hadn’t gotten the blood out, and the crimson sheets were fluttering for all of Bangkok to see."
4. The duvet disaster:
"My ex and I used to sleep at his sister's house, because his parents weren’t cool with us sharing a bed. She let us sleep in her spare room, where the bed was covered with a duvet — to be specific, it was an expensive, duck feather–stuffed, luxurious wedding present from her husband's mom, who'd passed away recently. So when we had period sex on it and made a huge mess, his sister was pissed. I was extremely embarrassed, and they never quite removed the stain. Yikes."
5. The bedroom battle scene:
"One time my husband and I stayed at his mom’s house, and she let us stay in his 9-year-old brother’s bed. We ended up having sex, and when we were done we realized I started my period and it was all over his poor younger brother's sheets and mattress! What a disaster."
6. The handprint happening:
"My periods are super heavy — like having to wear double protection heavy — so my hubs and I usually ~go for it~ in the shower. It’s been generally incident-free, but once, we did it, finished up all nice, went to bed aglow and satisfied... and then were woken up by my daughter screaming the next morning because she found dried bloody handprints in the shower!"
7. The fashion faux pas:
"When we were starting to date, my now-husband and I decided we'd have a quickie in my car in the driveway of my parents' house. He was wearing white shorts, and we didn’t even take our clothes off all the way — little did I know, I started bleeding, and it ended up ALL over his white shorts."
8. The scrambled scene:
"I thought my period was almost over, so I invited my guy over. While we're rolling on the floor like animals, there was a knock on my door. While we scrambled to put our clothes back on, we noticed blood spots all over the couch and carpet. It looked like the aftermath of a crime scene in my living room. I found random items to hide the stains while he went to check the door. Thankfully, he helped me clean up, but we didn't get every stain out."
9. The hotel horror:
"My husband and I had a long drive ahead of us, but decided we couldn’t wait 'til we got home to have sex, so we got a hotel room. Well, I was on the heaviest day of my period, and by the time we were done, it looked like someone had been murdered all over the white sheets and towels! I felt terrible for the maid who had to clean our room."
10. The super bad sexy time:
"I thought my period had ended, so my boyfriend and I had sex. Of course, I start bleeding during the deed. When he noticed, and I laughed and said, “We’re blood brothers!" quoting Jonah Hill in Superbad. He was not happy about that and stormed out immediately."
11. The sweatshirt situation:
"After my first time, I slept in one of his big hoodies and nothing else. The next day he was awake before me and went downstairs, so I thought it'd be cute to wander down and say hi. He saw me and stopped dead in his tracks, saying, 'There’s blood on your hoodie.' IT WAS EVERYWHERE. I bolted upstairs and pulled off the blankets to find his bed covered in my period. But he was sweet — he got a tampon out of his mom’s bathroom and washed the sheets. I bought him a new hoodie. I was mortified."
12. The Bermuda bloodbath:
"In college I went on spring break in Bermuda and met a cute tour guide. On my second-to-last night there, the tour guide and I went back to his place. I was supposed to get my period at the start of the trip, but it never happened, so I'd forgotten about it. While we were well into doing the deed, I looked down to see a MASSIVE puddle of blood on his sheets — a week’s worth of it just came gushing out of me. He was surprisingly very calm, but I was mortified. We're now LinkedIn buddies."
13. The teacher train wreck:
"I brought a guy home that I'd met at a bar. After half an hour of kissing, he started going down on me. I didn't know that I'd gotten my period... until he suddenly looked up at me with blood in his mouth — we're talking thick blood, with a black clot. I felt so bad, and he left immediately. The worst part? He's now my teacher in med school."
14. The not-so-valiant virgin:
"My first time, my boyfriend and I were 15. We'd both heard about 'popping the cherry' and figured there'd be some blood, but after a few minutes and no mess at all, he decided to get me going some more with his fingers. Well lucky for me, I got my period right then and there: His entire hand, my thighs, the bed… basically, everything the light touches was covered in my blood. He screamed, ran to the bathroom, and scrubbed like there was some sort of toxic poison eating his flesh. That magical moment is the grossest memory I have."
15. And the chunky catastrophe:
"This is my romantic tale: He went down on me. He said I tasted 'so good.' When he came up from under the covers, his mouth was covered in blood. I started crying and told him I got my period. He threw up on me. We’re still together five years later."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.