Posted on Aug 7, 2021

35 Outlandishly Funny Michael Scott Moments That Aren't "That's What She Said" Jokes

"I ate more fettuccine alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life."

by Hope Lasater

BuzzFeed Staff

Jan says, "You know Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight," and Michael says, "When in Rome"

Michael says, "Well, to be fair, Jim—James—Jimothy," Jim indicates yes for Jimothy, Michael says, "To be fair, Jimothy, the—that sounds weird, are you okay with being called Jim," and Jim says "I am"

Michael says, "I know a fair amount about fine food and drink," then he sniffs his white wine and says, "This is a white"

Dwight yells, "This is the lake," Michael yells, "The machine knows," Dwight yells, "This is the lake," and Michael yells, "Stop yelling at me"

Michael says, "Well, well, well, how the turntables"

Michael asks, “You cheated on me, when I specifically asked you not to"

Michael says, "Yes, it was on company property, with company property, so, double jeopardy, we are fine," Ryan says, "I don't—I don't think you understand how Jeopardy works," and Michael says, "Oh, right, I'm sorry, what is we're fine"

Michael says, "Why are you the way that you are, honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way, I hate so much about the things that you choose to be"

Michael says, "Abraham Lincoln once said that 'If you're a racist, I will attack you with the North'"

Michael says, "Lot of people in the room, you need more space," he pushes the TV inches and says, "Voilà, right into the wall"

Michael says, "Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours, I love it, I love this TV"

Michael says, "What's so funny," Pam says, "You had to be there," and Michael says, "Okay, geography joke!"

Michael says, "Little kid lover, that way people will know exactly where my priorities are at"

Michael says, "I will have the spaghetti with a side salad," the serve says, "Okay," and Michael says, "If the salad is on top, I send it back"

Michael says, "I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious"

Michael asks the police Would she get in trouble, the officer says, Yeah, she'd be charged, and Michael says, I will take the fall, I did it

Michael says, "His last name is Christ, he has the power of flight, he can heal leopards"

On a white board, it says, "'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take —Wayne Gretkzy' — Michael Scott"

Michael says, “You all took a life here today, you did, the life of the party"

Michael says, Before bed I lay bacon on my George Foreman grill, I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep, I wake to the smell of crackling bacon, today, I stepped on the grill and it clamped on my foot, I don't see what's so hard to believe

Andy says, "In any cheating movie, the person getting cheated on is the hero, you're Ali Larter, I'm Beyoncé," and Michael says, "I am Beyoncé always"

Michael yells into the office I declare BANKRUPTCYYYY

Michael says, "Snip, snap, snip, snap, snip, snap, you have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person"

There are wild groaning noises coming from Michael's office, Jim says, "It's Monster dot com, singular," and Michael says, "Thank you"

Michael says, Time to carbo load and takes a huge bite of his full fettuccine alfredo meal

Michael says, "Would I rather be feared or loved, um, easy, both, I want people to be afraid of how much they love me"

Dwight says, Wow, lot of calories, and Michael says, Well, just don't leave it on too long

Michael says, "If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice"

Jan says, "It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies, so I said, honey, keep the trophies," and Michael says, Honey, I have the best trophy right here, aside from my Dundies"

Michael says, "Where did you get that information," Oscar says, "Manual," and Michael asks "Manuel who"

Michael says, "I am not to be truffled with"

Michael says, "The worst thing about prison was the—was the Dementors, they were flying all over the place and they were scary"

Michael says, "Guess what, I have flaws, what are they, I dunno I sing in the shower, sometimes I spend too much time volunteering, occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car, sue me, no don't sue me, that's the opposite the point I am trying to make"

Michael says about the wine, "That has sort of an oaky afterbirth," and Jim says, "What was that"

NBC

NBC

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