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Where The Hell Is My Pizza?

I ordered delivery from GrubHub like an hour ago. Where is it? Seriously.

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I feel like nothing's really worth it anymore.

How can I miss someone so much, when I only knew her for a few hours?

I keep asking if it's something I did wrong.

I had her against my chest, I was holding her against my skin.

She stopped fussing for a minute, so I thought she was falling asleep.

I got up and put her in the little hospital push-cart bassinet.

That's when I noticed her lips were purple.

I screamed and the nurses rushed in.

I didn't know anything for a long time. I thought she was dead.

I just kept hearing someone yell "code purple" over the hospital's announcement speaker things.

After about 40 minutes one of the midwives came in and talked with us. She said our baby was in the NICU. They had her breathing again on a respirator, but she was having constant seizures.

We had to wait a long time to see her. Hours and hours and hours.

They took us down to the NICU, which I saw stood for neonatal intensive-care unit, and made us scrub our hands with a special type of sealed sponge to make sure we weren't bringing bacteria in. I had to take off my wedding ring.

When they took me over to her, she had tubes in her mouth, tubes in her stomach, a respirator in her nose, pins in her brain... but all I noticed were her beautiful eyes.

And I'm staring at this thing, this beautiful little thing, not wondering what was wrong, or what would happen next, but "how did we make something so beautiful?"

They have her on some special experimental treatment where they chill her brain to prevent damage from the seizures. Probably expensive.

Every time I go to see her, she looks a little more like a normal baby. Her color changes, her hands move more. Her arms still shake.

The neurologists are hoping to find out if she has permanent brain damage.

It'll probably take a few days to get the results.

We're in this big empty house, alone, waiting for pizza that hasn't even been started yet.

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