I met so many brilliant people when I was a teacher, particularly my dedicated colleagues and students. And the parents – the vast majority were supportive and great. Then there were the others. Like the dad who got hold of my mobile number and used to call me several times a week after school to ask if I could walk around the building and see if his son was still there. And that was tame, I discovered, when I spoke to teachers about the most ludicrous complaints and requests they have received from people old enough to know better.
2. "This history is from too long ago. When are they going to do the history of now?"
3. "You're too Welsh."
4. "He can't come to revision; he has to go to the gym because he's fat."
5. "I don't do homework, so why should my son?"
7. "I am reporting you to Ofsted for cheating. You can't show students past papers."
8. "Please don't tell my son off for chatting in class."
9. "All of his primary teachers, all the teachers from his previous school, and now all the teachers at your school are complaining about his behaviour. You're all picking on him."
10. "You spelt accommodation wrong on the letter."
12. "You shouldn't be using computers in English lessons."
13. "Make sure she doesn't eat pasta or pizza on the trip. She's on a diet that doesn't allow carbs."
14. Parent: "My son will need two spaces on the coach because he likes to sleep."
Teacher: "Unfortunately all of the seats are taken."
Parent: "Can you get a bigger coach?
16. "I don't think it's appropriate for you to dye your hair."
17. "Can you change the school lunches? My son prefers them to my cooking."
18. "Please don't correct her spelling; it knocks her confidence."
19. "It's your job to make sure he doesn't use slang."
21. "The drinks in the canteen aren't cold enough."
22. "My daughter needs an older teacher."
23. "Just twist her ear if she misbehaves."
24 "Can you call me if you see her hanging around with boys?"
26. "I don't mind if he swears, so I don't see why you should."
27. "Why can't he wear running spikes for the egg and spoon race?"
28. "I want my daughter to be a teacher. Can you persuade her?"
29. "He is only bullying people because he is more developed than them."